we strongly hold the opinion
courtesy of the tigerboard,
Rock chalk chickenhawk
of KU Coach Mangino
Beaker basketball players -- "he is the girlfriend and I am the guy"Cartoon from KC Star's Lee Judge, March 26 2007.
http://kansas.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1010364, Nov 2, 2009
Beaker basketball (football) players hate beaker football (basketball) players.
KC Star article, Sept 24, 2009
Daily kansan article, Sept 23, 2009
Darkow cartoon making fun of beaker self-loating
Photo ran exactly as above on kusports.com on October 9, 2007.
Cartoon from dudmatic.com
That cartoon reminded me that I had these from Darkow at the Columbia Tribune.
No idea why I've never added here before.
Is making fat jokes inappropriate? How 'bout in the form of a Christmas Poem?
'Twas the night before Christmas,
and in Mangino's place,
KU defensive lineman Eric Butler is filing a civil suit against KU and NCAA because they won't grant him a waiver on eligibility due to "reasons of pregnancy". D-lineman is pregnant, should be a good year for beaker football. Story in Aug 16, 2006, KC Star.
Tim Flattery becomes first male member of beaker dance squad. Story in Aug 11, 2006, Larrytown Journal-World. I beg to differ, see picture of linebackers below. I will vomit if there's ever a "golden guy" trotting out at halftime.
KU, home of a "'near absence' of innovative research." Cited in Aug 4, 2006 Lawrence Journal-World article. "An 'alarmingly low number' of publications, lack of teamwork" also cited as major draws to beakerville.
What is a Jayhawk?
According to my new favorite columnist, the perfect mascot
Quote from beaker defensive end Charlton Keith, as reported on KU's website on Nov 16, 2004. "I have gained a lot of weight since I've been here. Coach Mangino has been patient with me, teaching me different techniques and a lot of other things."
Photographic Evidence that Beakers are Evil....
True Life Humor from the mythical shoe-wearing birds:
OK, now for
generic jokes. Your team sucks.
A man walks into a store and says, "I would like a blue hat, red pants, blue sweater, and white shoes." The clerk says, "Are you a KU fan?" "Yes," replies the beaker, "How did you guess - by the color combination?" "No," answers the clerk, "this is a hardware store."
How does KU count to ten ..... 0-1 0-2 0-3 0-4 0-5 0-6 0-7 0-8 0-9 0-10
A Jayhawker was walking in the woods when he came upon a river. As fortune would have it, there was a fellow on the other bank wearing a KU hat. The first Jayhawker yelled out "Hey there, can you tell me how you get to the other side of this river?" The gent in the KU hat replies, "You dumbass, you're already on the other side of the river!"
Q: How do you keep a Jayhawk
out of your yard?
Q: Did you hear about the
big power outage at the KU student union?
Q: What are the best 4 years
of a KU student's life?
Q: What do you get if you
breed a groundhog with a KU football player?
Q: What do you get if you
drive by the KU campus real slow?
Q: Did you hear they've
decided to cover the Allen Field House court in cardboard next season?
Q: How do you get a KU
graduate off your porch?
Q: Why do KU students hang
their diplomas from their rearview mirrors?
Q: Why doesn't KU have ice
on the sidelines?
Q: How many KU freshmen does
it take to change a light bulb?
Q: What do you call a person
from KU in a three piece suit?
Q: What's the difference
between a litter of puppies and KU fans?
Q: What does the average KU
player get on his SAT's?
Coach is only dressing 10 players for the Jayhawks game against MU. The rest of the team will get dressed by themselves.
KU has decided to change it's football mascot to the opossum since they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: What happens when a KU
grad takes Viagra?
Q: Why don't KU grads use
911 in an emergency?
Q: Why was KU late for so
many games last year?
Q: Why did they have to
cancel the Christmas play at KU last year?
Q: What is the difference
between a KU cheerleader and a catfish?
Q: Did you hear that KU has
found a new use for sheep?
Q: What do KU cheerleaders
and tornadoes have in common?
Q: What's the difference
between a KU bar and a circus?
Q: How do you keep a KU girl
from biting her nails?
Q: Did you hear about the KU
athlete that won a Gold Medal in the Olympics?
Q: What's the most useless
thing in a KU fan's house?
Q: How do you run a small
Q: How do you break a KU
Q: Why don't they teach
drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in Kansas?
Q: How many KU students does
it take to eat a rabbit?
Q: What's the difference
between a KU cheerleader and a heifer?
Q: What does it say on the
bottom of Coke bottles in Kansas?
Q: What do you call
a KU fan with half a brain?
Q: How do the brain cells of
a KU fan die?
I am a sailor in the United States Coast Guard. My parents live in a suburb of Houston and one of my sisters, who lives in Beaumont, is married to a transvestite. My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Matamoras. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Brownsville and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel, with my fiancée utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and, hopefully, the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course I want to be totally honest with her. My question is - Should I tell her about my cousin who graduated from KU?
What does your dad do?
Not a Joke, but that makes it
Dion Rayford, a 6-foot-3 senior defensive end, was suspended for the game Saturday against Iowa State, the last game of his college career. He was released on his own recognizance after appearing in court Wednesday on charges of disorderly conduct, having an open container of alcohol and misdemeanor damage to property.
An innocent plea was entered for Rayford, who had started all 11 games this season.
Rayford, 24, allegedly became angry about 2 a.m. Wednesday when he didn't get the chalupa. He tried to climb through the 14-by-46-inch drive-thru window, said Lawrence police Sgt. George Wheeler.
"When you take a big guy and put him through a small space, something's got to give," Wheeler said.
The night manager, Tiffany Holly, and three other employees locked themselves into an office, said restaurant manager Tito Lopez.
None of the employees was injured.
"I'm disappointed for the young man, and frustrated as a coach to be put in the position to suspend someone from the final game of their career," said Kansas coach Terry Allen. "But we can't tolerate that type of behavior in our program."
The headline in the University Daily Kansan (nice name) after Mangino was named coach of the beakers.
Not a Joke, but the History behind MU vs KU
In 1854 Congress passed the Kansas-Nebraska Act, leaving the choice of slavery to the residents of the two territories. Abolitionists were determined that Kansas would be a free state, and they sent in hundreds of settlers from the North. Lawrence was largely settled by families from New England.
Proslavers came, too, from as far as Alabama, but most were from Missouri. When Kansas held its first election in 1854 it was decreed that only residents could vote, but about 1,700Missourians showed up at the polls, demanded the right to vote, and weak-kneed officials, or maybe sympathizers, let them.
The result made slavery legal in Kansas, but that lasted only until the next election, when there were fewer fraudulent votes. But meanwhile, there were armed clashes between the two sides, and the Union Army made life precarious for proslavers living on the Missouri border.
C.R. "Doc" Jennison, a Kansan by way of Wisconsin, was given a Union commission and he formed the Seventh Kansas Volunteer Cavalry, nicknamed the Jayhawkers, a tag later to be made famous by volunteers like Wilt Chamberlain of Philadelphia, Clyde Lovellette of Indiana,Charley Hoag of Chicago and various other imports from coast to coast.
Back to history. Jennison's troops plundered farms and settlements on the western border of Missouri, stealing supplies and horses, and killing proslavers or any man opposed to the Union. The looting was so widespread that for years any fine horse as far away as Iowa was said to be "out of Missouri by Jennison."
On the other side was Quantrill and those who rode with him, including the James brothers, the Younger brothers and Bloody Bill Anderson, all pledged to kill anyone who served or supported the Union. They would strike and then melt into the Missouri hills.
In an effort to stop Quantrill, the Union decided to jail women who hid them. Union troops arrested 17 women and put them in a prison on Grand Avenue in Kansas City, Mo. Among the 17 were three sisters of Bloody Bill and a cousin of the Youngers.
It was August 1863, and one afternoon the prison collapsed into a pile of bricks. Four died, including one of the sisters and the cousin. Quantrill and his men heard about it, and decided to raid Lawrence in retaliation. About 400 of them hit Lawrence at dawn Aug. 21.
History isn't sure how many men and boys were killed in Lawrence. Various accounts say the number ranged from 140 to 180. No women were killed, but it's agreed that 80 became widows. The town was looted and burned, and you can see it all on television about once a month.
Now comes Brig. Gen. Thomas A. Ewing, a Kansas lawyer by way of Ohio and the first chief justice of the Kansas Supreme Court. He commanded the Union troops along the border and in retaliation for the raid he decided to depopulate the western Missouri counties where proslave raiders hid. He issued General Order No. 11, ordering everyone out of three western Missouri counties, and a part of a fourth.
Jennison and his troops were prominent among the enforcers of the order. They burned, looted and killed, and it amounted to robbery and murder. Only 600 people were left in Cass County, which once had a population of 10,000.
Alberta Wilson Constant, a Missouri author, wrote: "The displaced had no place to go. They wandered. They camped out. The sick died. The weak collapsed. Some who had the means got to a steamboat and left, never to return. ... For generations these counties were called "The Burnt District.' Tall chimneys standing by fire-blackened foundations were called "Jennison tombstones.' "
The victims of Order No. 11 wrote that they had been "Jayhawked" by Jennison's men, and Missourians still say that at least once a year, and usually more often. And this question remains: Was Quantrill or Jennison the bigger villain? In their day, the question would have been, which was the bigger hero?
Also, the "Tigers" nickname traces its origin to the Civil War period. At that time, plundering guerilla bands habitually raided small towns, and Columbia people constantly feared an attack. Such organizations as temporary "home guards" and vigilance companies banded together to fight off any possible forays.
The town's preparedness discouraged any guerilla activity and the protecting organization began to disband in 1854. However, it was rumored that a guerilla band, led by the notorious Bill Anderson, intended to sack the town. Quickly organized was an armed guard of Columbia citizens, who built a blockhouse and fortified the old courthouse in the center of town. This company was called "The Missouri Tigers." An excellent article on these Tigers can be found here.
The marauders never came. The reputation of the intrepid "Tigers" presumably traveled abroad, and Anderson's gang detoured around Columbia.
Soon after Missouri's first football team was organized in 1890, the athletic committee adopted the nickname "Tiger" in official recognition of those Civil War defenders.
More on the history