The Aggie Is Near
November greetings Tiger fans,
Sad to say, but the end of the (home) season is approaching rapidly, with our beloved Tigers taking on the Fighting Texas Aggie Fighting Aggies on Saturday at 11:30 a.m. We’ll be at the tailgate in some combination by 9:00. It’s a “Blackout” game, so I’d encourage everyone to get really drunk and try to forget the game. Oh wait, sorry, that was a college flashback (sorry mom). Beyond wearing black, it’s also Senior Day. 20 Tigers will be playing their final games at Faurot Field, so go inside early to salute them.
While I’d normally do my best to make considerable fun of the Aggies, especially since it’s so easy to do, our trip to College Station last year cured me of my evil ways (toward them, if we were playing someone else I’d still be full of hatred). It wasn’t all good in College Station… their tradition of being “friendly” to everyone kind of creeped me out. Mostly it came off as ROTC guys saying “HOWDY” to you as loud as possible to see what kind of reaction they’d get, hoping that reaction would then justify a mass beatdown of some sorts. Like they were ready to jump out and snap my neck like I was a rabid cow.
The real show came when we went to “Yell Practice” on Friday night before the game. Despite being midnight, and full of college students, and associated with college football, and about 30,000 people there, absolutely no one seemed the least bit intoxicated. After seeing my college experience from above you can understand the confusion this caused. Everyone filed politely into one side of the stadium and inexplicably did calisthenics periodically. Punctuated by sporadic banging on the bleachers and “WHOOOP” noises. All while some West Texas cracker with a microphone said random nonsense, causing more calisthenics, banging, and WHOOP making.
It was all enough to drive us to the very edge (of the crowd). Being in complete and utter amazement at the surroundings, I turned around to watch the freak show. And then promptly found myself laying on my back and head about 4 bleachers down from where I’d just been. At that moment, though, the Aggie niceties sincerely kicked in. Despite being with Sarah and Missouri’s two finest sportswriters, the absolute only person that moved to see if I was still alive was an Aggie dad, who had to stand up from ‘humping’ position and walk down 6-8 rows to check on me. Again, at no point did Sarah or Missouri’s two finest sportswriters ever make a move. When I finally managed to drag myself back up to their area, they sort of looked at me, snickered a little, and then turned their attention back to the Aggie circus. Meanwhile Aggie dad returned to humping it and making WHOOP with his young children.
Hope to see you and yours at the tailgate and the game. They may be nice, but we shall still destroy them. Go Tigers, 13-1 will be almost as good as 14-0!
Here are the 20 Seniors playing in their final home game. I’m confident they all join me in saying screw ku.
Steven Blair (95) DL Godfrey, Ill.
Greg Bracey (85) WR Milwaukee, Wisc.
Pig Brown (13) SS Adel, Ga.
Travis Cardoza (4) S Springfield, Mo.
Adam Crossett (90) P Liberty, Mo.
William Franklin (2) WR St. Louis, Mo.
Charles Gaines (91) DL Hayti, Mo.
Tyler Luellen (79) OL Bethany, Mo.
Lucas Null (87) WR Crystal City, Mo.
Jason Ray (4) WR Porter, Okla.
Martin Rucker (82) TE St. Joseph, Mo.
John Ruth (41) LB Jefferson City, Mo.
Paul Simpson (6) CB Oakland, Calif.
Adam Spieker (77) OL Webb City, Mo.
Tony Temple (22) TB Kansas City, Mo.
Darnell Terrell (3) CB St. Louis, Mo.
Chris Tipton (54) OL Bowling Green, Mo.
Lorenzo Williams (99) DL Midwest City, Okla.
Marcus Woods (3) TB Farmington Hills, Mich.
Monte Wyrick (71) OL Texarkana, Ark.