Jason's Untimely Thoughts

I woke up this morning around 3:00 to the sound of the Grant School bell going off.  Adelaide snoring.  And Jack singing in his sleep.  “Hey, want the funk.  What funk?  That garbage funk!  Hey, want the funk.  What funk?  That garbage funk!”  Insanity.  According to both Adelaide & Jack that’s a song in a Disney show, although I find it hard to believe (edited:  but the internet doesn’t lie:  youtube clip.)

For some reason, though, garbage funk seems to describe my mood the past few days.  With “what funk?” being an apt question as I’m unable to figure out how to find my way out of it.  I’ve mentioned it before, but after the new year I’ve had a hard time finding something to look forward to, which is definitely part of it.  Occasionally something comes up that lifts my mood, but timing, circumstances, people of different opinions, or too much hype pops the balloon.

I feel like I’ve started toward normal, which didn’t seem possible for a long time.  But any step toward normal is uneasy and awkward.  I know I wish I’d never have mentioned anything about dating in this space.  Which serves me right, as I specifically told people I wouldn’t put anything like that here and then ignored my own advice.  No one freaked out, except me, but it’s a conversation I’m mostly not ready to have with hardly anyone.  So putting it in a public space was a bad move.

In other news…

People are still great about asking if I need anything.  Which, specifically, I don’t need anything.  I do still need help, though, especially with the kids, but I’m miserable at giving you a good answer to “what can I do?”  If you have something specific in mind, I’m happy to have specific offers, which we’ll accept or not as we can.  If you ask “can I do anything?” the answer is probably going to be no.

Adelaide had her second set of ear tubes inserted on Monday, with the added bonus of adnoids taken out, but is doing well.  She was in good spirits by Monday night and went to school and dance on Tuesday.  No ear infections, just drainage issues impacting hearing.  Same deal as last year, with immediate improvement afterwards, also like last year.

SEMO got hit by a lot of ice, if you haven’t heard.  My older brother Mitch put some pictures up of the aftermath here.  Impressive and devastating.

I’ve finalized the last details of Sarah’s memorial stone.  I’ve asked the cemetery people to call the monument people to make sure everyone is thinking of everything, then will order from there.  Probably won’t be in place until late Spring, at the earliest.

I’ve also been approached by the State Historical Society of Missouri about donating Sarah’s work to their archive.  As I understand it anyway, there’s a “Women in Journalism” segment of their Western Historical Manuscript Collection which would be appropriate for Sarah’s photographs.  Nothing official yet, but certainly something I’m strongly considering.  There are literally bookshelves filled with negatives and disks and disks filled with digital photographs, would hate for it to be lost.