Jason's Untimely Thoughts

The year was 2000… I had changed jobs at Columbia College, thereby freeing up my fall Saturdays for FOOTBALL!!! The year before, Sarah & I had purchased a new truck. In a classic “you put your peanut butter in my chocolate!”-style stroke of genius, we decided to combine FOOTBALL!!! and the truck into a thing called a tailgate. Lot I was the destination at the time.

September 2 was the first game. If my memory is correct, it was 163 degrees that day. Being the stupid tailgating newby, I pulled in to the most spacious area I could find in good old Lot I, never mind the fact it was surrounded by asphalt in every direction. Better to have an area to spread out, I thought.

On the asphalt, it was approximately 238 degrees. Traffic control wasn’t much of a thing then, so after a while the cars began to line up across from us, trying to get wherever they were going. The running cars. Pumping fumes in our faces. Good times. Luckily, in a little bit the good lads from Major Brands parked beside us. They were equally clueless about where to go, but they had boxes and boxes of booze. And yet another classic “you put your chocolate in my peanut butter!”-style discovery was made.

Twenty years of tailgating later, I finally got a new truck. For the various folks that remarked that “something looks different this year” last week, that was the only major difference from the past many years. I did have to purge some items, including an 18-year old roll of twine that was last used when Smitty shimmied up a tree to tie up a tarp to keep rain off of (some of) us.

Saturday, the Tigers continue on their path to an undefeated season* when SEMO comes to town. Kickoff is at 6:30 p.m. I’ll be there by 3:00, Lot D normal spot, but the tailgate will be much more in the style of the early 2000s. I’ll have some booze and some sodas, but anything else you want you should probably bring yourself. (I’ll also have a couple of tents, some tables, some chairs, a TV, and possibly a chandelier. We’re not savages after all.)

Speaking of the early 2000s, screw ku.

*We didn’t play college football in August in the year 2000, games played in August continue to not count.