Jason's Untimely Thoughts

Happy Thursday, Tiger fans!  On Saturday, our beloved Tigers continue their home winning ways against the Aggies from Texas A&M University.   

Texas A&M believes in tradition more than they believe in the sun.  Out of respect for our guests, the SEC gave us our standard time slot of 11:00 a.m. kickoff, which means early tailgating.  I’ll be there early, please come see me.  As is tradition for stupid 11:00 kickoff times, we will have breakfast tacos arriving again this week.  As has become tradition when Mizzou plays early Homecoming games against bad opponents, the following game turns into Homecoming 2, the Homecominger.  Lots of old faces back in town this weekend, so good times will be had.  Sides and desserts and Bloody Mary’s* and friends are good options for bringing.  Call Kim and Jason for all your speaking and bedding needs.

This would normally be the spot where I make fun of Aggies and all their stupid stuff.  And believe me, they have a metric ton of stupid stuff.  Last week the internet went crazy for a day or two when just a random recent Yell Practice video went viral.  They do that nonsense every game and it’s no where near the top of the Aggie stupid stuff list.  But then they beat Alabama and everyone quit laughing at them, so I shall follow suit and refrain from Aggie jokes.

However, after the Tigers beat the hell outta Texas A&M (whoop!) on Saturday, final score of 34-28, I shall tell anyone who will listen about their Howdy ways of planting dead dogs near the scoreboard so the dead dogs can always see the score of the game, how they only have the dead dogs as former mascots because a group of students ran over a dog once, and how saying “Gig em” while giving a basic thumbs up sign is almost worse than every other hand symbol used by all the other universities in Texas combined.  And so on.

*I’ve been writing these stupid things for many many years and I still have no idea how to properly pluralize “Bloody Mary.”  Speaking of many many years of stupid things, screw ku.

Happy Thursday, Tiger fans!  On Saturday, our beloved Tigers host the Mean Green from the University of North Texas for Homecoming.

If you know anything about Mizzou, you know about Homecoming.  If you know anything about homecoming at Mizzou, you know it’s unseasonably cool, raining, and the young students in fraternities and sororities are spending time learning important lessons about pomping while skipping classes.  You’ll be happy to know I have an inside source at the university that confirms all those things are true again this year!  Luckily, it looks like the rain will skip the festivities and football this year.  Unluckily, it seems like the unseasonably cool temps will probably leave before football as well.

We are having CoMo Smoke & Fire BBQ bring food to the tailgate this week.  Pulled pork, chicken, beans, potato salad, and mac and cheeeeeeeeeeese shall be on the menu.  As always, desserts and sides and friends are good bringing options, if you’re bringing options.  Food shall arrive around Noon, you should too.  Call Kim and Jason for all your speaking and bedding needs.  

The UNT MG’s were apparently founded by a random name generator.  No chance anyone down there voluntarily named something North.  Although everyone is statutorily obligated to follow any local place name with “Texas” (i.e. let’s go over to Killeen, Texas; my bank is down in Nacogdoches, Texas) lest you be mistakenly under the impression there is something worthwhile outside of Texas.  So North Texas, I sort of get.  But Mean Green?   Nothing says mean like a rhyming color.  Luckily, their football team is bad and terrible at all things except, what’s that, running the ball?  Oh well, beat the random names for homecoming, I say, 48-17 final score.

Speaking of potato salad on a hot day with a poorly named bad football team and other things that might spoil your stomach, screw ku.