An Update for Update’s Sake
Today is Saturday, it’s the first day where I haven’t had ‘something’ to do. Routine has been very helpful to me, and lack of same is failing me mostly today. Normal Saturday routine when we had nothing to do would have been doing random junk with Sarah and the kids all day. I can’t, of course, and it sucks.
The kids spent part of today at Sarah’s dad’s house, with me allegedly being productive at the house. While I did accomplish some, feel like mostly what I accomplished was looking around and wishing Sarah was here. It’s an any weepy girl from any weepy Hallmark commercial day for me. A big outdoor BBQ at friends’ tonight, though, which should be good for the kiddos and me.
I’ve started the search for memorial stones, with as little luck as I would have expected. I’m generally looking to start from something like this, if anyone knows of any place. Start from there, then include some brass, some gerber daisies, a sun, and I’ll go on and on toward tackiness I’m afraid.
Just so it’s in this space too, I’ve created a webpage in memorial to Sarah. I’ll update it as time goes on and other memorials continue to happen or be written. It’ll also serve as the main page of becking.com until whatever random moment feels appropriate to change it.
Speaking of random moments to change, I’ll say that some of the hardest junk coming up recently are stupid decisions like when is the appropriate time to turn off an e-mail address or a cell phone. I ended up doing it when I dreaded checking them more than I despised taking the action to turn them off. Similarly, if anyone works for the Social Security office, you should give serious thought to improving your stupid automated phone system. It’s bad enough having to make that call, considerably worse having to make it repeatedly because the idiotic system keeps telling you to call back later and hanging up on you.
Finally, football season approaches. While the thought of Golden Girls in the fall is appealing to the family (mostly to Adelaide, but to me and various papas too), the thought of the upcoming season is extremely bittersweet for me. During the games I spent a lot of time communicating with Sarah. Glances and text messages and laughter. Post-game we’d each do our own breakdowns of what happened for us and then I’d spend a few hours reviewing her pictures. Tailgates, 14-0, generally Mizzou-RAH-edness will no doubt happen, but I’m having a hard time imaging it right now.
on a side note, hug your friends and family.