No Woe is Me
It’s hard to say goodbye to friends now. Not in the “I’m scared I’ll never see them again” way, because that’s not it. It’s more along the lines of I have to leave now without saying another word or I’ll lose it. Sorry about that. Or I’m mad because I know Sarah would have enjoyed the time we just spent with the group. And although I truly don’t feel it, I’m sure there’s some underlying jealousy in play when I get back in the minivan with just me and the kids.
It adds to the difficulty of having any meaningful conversations with anyone in group settings. We come together to see each other and the kids, which is great. But I’m distracted half the time anyway, added to the attention to the kids, and then knowing certain conversations are limited to when they can happen, and I feel like I’m living the life of a 3-year old. Only concerns are meal times, bed times, an occasional boo-boo, whether the clothes and diapers are clean, and if we have enough milk (we don’t).
Weekends are harder, because it’s just me and the kids with little other comings and goings. But then I don’t want nor need to have them go elsewhere every weekend, even just for partial days, as they need me and I need them. Plus I want them to have as normal of days as possible, and running around to various people every day isn’t what had been normal. But a sad lonely dad who’s only interested in meals and diapers probably isn’t helping them much either.
We did spend some great quality time with numerous friends this week, for which I’m grateful. Shake’s, the lake, CJ’s, birthday party, and fish fry were each good for all of us. I did even get to participate some. But evidently not enough to keep from whining about my woe on the internet.
Our next door neighbor re-shingled our garage yesterday. To be nice. She starts Mizzou soon, moving to the dorm tomorrow in prep for sorority rush. She’s clearly top notch, but comes by it honestly, as they say.
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