Jason's Untimely Thoughts

I was very pleased with the way Sarah’s “party” turned out, including most of what I remember of my own remarks.  One thing, though, that I regretted even before I finished saying it was the talk of Sarah watching MU football games, bounces going our way, etc.  I simply don’t believe that in the realm of space/time/eternity/infinity, watching (and certainly not interfering) in a football game can possibly rank very high.  And then I don’t believe in ‘curse’ talk or whatever that many MU fans seem to anxiously bring up, so the opposite of a curse can’t be the case either.  She’d want them to do well, absolutely, because of the fondness and how much the rest of us follow it, but more than that doesn’t seem realistic (a word that doesn’t seem to fit with any of this paragraph).

A large group of friends gathered in Austin for the game.  Fellowship, you might call it.  A great time was had by all, even the one who fell immediately before kickoff and had to miss the game while his newly broken wrist was attended to.  One of the first things he said Sunday morning was “it was a great time”, before pausing in self disbelief that he’d said that.  It was a great time, though.  The kids missed this trip, but will travel with me to Waco in a couple of weeks for more fun.

Bits of perspective have added to my ability to withstand what others call disappointing losses.  Following the Tigers is still fun and I still hope they win, but I’m no where near miserable when they lose.  I enjoy the journey as much as the game, or it’s at least closer to even.

Through all of this, it’s the silent times that bother me the most.  I’d thought it would be hard to gather as a group of friends, when almost all were there with their spouses, with Sarah very much a missing part of that group.  Really, it wasn’t, though, as good times and such hid the missing.  It was the flight home, the drive home, the calm moments throughout that were harder.  Makes sense, as it’s the same on normal days too.  Busyness hides the sorrow.  It’s the times when the house is empty, going to bed early without being fully exhausted, that are still hard.  I feel like I understand how an addict needs the action the addiction provides, as the quiet times can be intolerable.

Finally, the Columbia Daily Tribune did a nice piece of Hold That Hug.  Here’s a link to the article.