Why Can’t I Hate KU?
Normally, when Mizzou plays KU in anything, but especially football or basketball, I experience a happy combination of hatred, disrespect, gleeful anticipation, and more hatred.
However, here we are a mere 4 hours away from tipoff against the mythical shoe-wearing birds, and I can barely muster a profanity. Maybe it’s because they’re not all that good this year or the game is too early in the Big 12 season to have much animosity or importance built up. Perhaps because I like their coach better than they like their coach.
Regardless, here are some reasons I do hate KU.
- Their fans, particularly females and little kids, will scream at you about how much classier KU fans are than MU fans. The females will likely be wearing a “Muck Fizzou” shirt while doing the screaming.
- Because Roy Williams used to be their coach and they loved him.
- During this timeframe, several male students proudly dressed up as “Roy’s Boys” and were paraded on TV every game.
- They are the only school in the history of NCAA to be placed on probation immediately after winning a national championship, yet are still held up as an idyllic institution.
- Their recent admitted NCAA violations are enough to make Jerry Tarkanian blush and should make the NCAA and KC media embarrassed to have reported on MU’s violations, yet almost nothing on KU’s admitted wrong-doings have been reported in k@~$@$ or KC media, much less the supposed ongoing NCAA investigation into the prairie chickens.
- Their mascot is a bird that wears shoes. Not sufficient, this evidently flightless bird also has a shoe-wearing wife and offspring.
- This mascot was named, proudly I’d imagine, after a group of marauding, pillaging scumbags.
- They played an ineligible player against MU in football, thereby costing Mizzou a #1 ranking that season.
- Their band plays an off-key awful version of the Tiger Fight Song prior to home games against Mizzou. Again, while some kid or female is screaming at you about how classy they are.
- If you happen to wear a red shirt around a beaker fan, they’ll say “Hey, that looks like #!$hawk crimson you’re wearing.” A blue shirt will prompt a similar response. Hey morons, you don’t own Red & Blue. US flag look familiar to you? KC Royals? St L Blues? StL Rams? KC Chiefs? St L Cardinals? If you can’t decide between either of the two most popular colors in the world for your mascot, and then also work Black & Gold into your uniforms, get over the fact that someone else might occasionally wear one of your colors.
- They pretend K-State is their most bitter rival, then cheer for KSU when playing Mizzou. Morons. Or as a KU grad recently called me with no apparent clue even after I pointed it out to her, “Moran.”
Rock chalk chickenhawk, screw ku.