Eltonhusker Spectacular Party Nightgame
In case you hadn’t heard, there’s a little football game this weekend. Some team from some town north is making a little trip down the road to face our beloved Tigers. Some little network based in Vermont or Connecticut or somewhere is coming in for the broadcast. Hopefully Coach Pinkel and the boys can finally win some games so we can get a ranked team to come play, or a decent network to cover the game, or a fullback, or something.
To quote our old receptionist, “I’m sorry I’m drunk and I can’t come to work.” Oh wait, that’s not the quote I was looking for. “I woke up naked and got free cable.” No, not it either. “I kid, I kid”… That’s the one. Bless her heart.
The 17th ranked Tigers take on the #25 Huskers from Nebraska this Saturday at 8:15 p.m. on ESPN. It’s the annual gold-out game, so wear gold. It’ll be a packed house, so plan on going in early too, so as not to be standing in line as we return the opening kickoff back for a touchdown. We’ll be tailgating by 3:00, join us when you will. Bryan Ninichuck of Wingate Pest Control is taking care of the food this weekend. Buckingham’s will be delivered at 5:30. If you’d like us to haul things to the tailgate, probably better have it to our house by mid-Saturday morning. And call Wingate for all your pest control needs.
Sarah and the athletic department are trying to find a plane/helicopter/parasail/Wonkavator so she can take aerial photos of the game. If you happen to see a plane circling at opening kickoff, smile and wave. Same goes if someone is on a really really big ladder somewhere.
Somewhere along the way the boys from Nowledge changed their nickname from Cornhuskers to Huskers. I can’t say for sure, but I assume it has something to do with Columbia’s reputation regarding stray monkeys on the loose and those monkeys’ propensity to bite those who have corn (get well soon Liam, no kidding). Look out cornhuskers, stray monkeys Unleashed.
Also big news in Columbia is Sir Elton John’s performance at Mizzou Arena on Friday night. All week I’ve had visions, strange scary visions, of bedazzled Elton fans and be-jeaned, white-jeaned, N fans running into each other all over town, finding secret attraction in each other, and then combining to show up on Saturday in fabulously spectacular sequin covered jeans and reds, rhinestone covered corncob heads, and sparkly sunglasses. I sort of hope this comes true.
To recap, Wear Gold, Lot D, Buckingham’s, Wingate, Go in Early, BEAT NEBRASKA, Smile and Point and Laugh at the sequin-covered white jean crew, and (implied) screw ku.