Jason's Untimely Thoughts

This Saturday the Tigers (of Missouri) take on the mighty RedHawks (formerly Redskins) from Miami (of Ohio).  Game time is at 1:00 p.m., we’ll be at the tailgate by 10:00.  Ribs from SE Missouri (of the land of cotton, old times there are not forgotten) have made the trip, if anyone is interested in bringing a side dish, am sure that will be eaten as well.

Beyond moving to 4-0 on the season, Saturday is also Adelaide (of Columbia)’s birthday.  She’ll be 8, and we’ll have birthday cake (of HyVee) and ice cream (of Central Dairy) at the tailgate for that.  This afternoon she and three friends are having a tie dye party, making shirts and whatnot.

I tried to look up some stuff about Miami (of Ohio) to make fun of, but quickly found out that I didn’t care too much.  Hey, they’re in Ohio! pretty much seems to be what you need to know.  The parenthetical will be the stuff of making fun this week.   They do have some Columbia connections.  Defensive coordinator is Carl Reese, a 1966 Mizzou grad and former Mizzou coach (1966, 1977-81).  And #64 Josh Harvey (of Hickman HS) is an offensive lineman for them.  And it’s been scientifically proven that anyone who wears #64 is a super genius funny guy.

They also make a big point of being the “Cradle of Coaches”.  Of course in that category they list their Synchronized Skating coaching connections as proof, among other things, so let’s not get carried away with those stories.

Go Tigers, happy birthday to AEB, see you at the tailgate.

Our beloved Tigers play once again this Saturday at 6:00, hosting the San Diego State University Aztecs.  We’ll be tailgating no later than 2:00 with various folks bringing various sides.  Mike & Sarah Messer are bringing the meat and the heat for the meat, buy your home through Flat Branch and insure your junk through Mike Messer Shelter Insurance.  Well, maybe your stuff isn’t junk.  Anyway.

San Diego State has a statistically outstanding offensive team, throwing for a bunch of yards, lots of passes down field, and a couple of good running backs.  Their coach is Brady Hoke, which is a miserable name.  Defensive coordinator is Rocky Long, a much better name, and formerly head coach at New Mexico.  Both have faced the Tigers previously so should be well versed in our offensive razzle dazzle.  Blah blah blah.

In a weird but fortuitous coincidence, though, “Aldon Smith” happens to be the Aztec phrase for “we will tackle your guys in the backfield and injure their spirit.”  Even stranger, “Carl Gettis” is evidently Aztec slang for “smallpox”, which wiped out their population like he will their down field passes.

With that kind of linguistic luck going for us, along with the actual small pox infested towels we’ll put in their locker room, victory is assured.  48-17 is my prediction.  See you at the tailgate in the land of the tall flagpoles.

As an aside, razzle dazzle makes me think of Stripes.  Which makes me laugh.  That’s the fact, Jack.  on a side note, screw ku.

Happy September, Tiger Fans!  Tomorrow the good guys hit Faurot Field to host the Cowboys from McNeese State.  McNeese is located in Lake Charles, Louisiana, where clearly nothing good originates  (sorry to friends from the Chuck, Sarah & I got engaged there, etc.).

As has become standard, we will be tailgating in Lot D again this year.  The first tailgate will again be catered by Hoss’s Market, food arriving by 3:30.   Food, beverage, and much of the tailgate crowd provided by Miller’s, Mpix.com for all your photo lab wants and desires.

Someone on the playground at school asked who we’re playing, “McNeazy State?”.  Of course someone at the playground was also dropping f-bombs while yelling at their kid, who evidently is named Toby Keith.  McNeese is a 1-AA school, but as our smelly neighbors to the west proved last weekend, you can’t take a 1-AA school too lightly.

The following links are provided purely for educational value, so all are reminded not to overlook a 1-AA school.  And in case you need to learn how to clap.

• College football writer, “Most depressing box score I’ve ever seen.“
• KC Star, “The Night The Wheat Stood Still“
• other team’s coach, “docile environment”, basically not very good
• go to Lawrence, learn to clap

Mizzou takes on the Baylor Bears this Saturday at 1:00 p.m.  It’s a work tailgate again this week, with Hoss’s Market again providing the food.  Adelaide’s favorite meal, brunch, is the fair.  Food will be served beginning at 10:30, hope to see you and yours there.  I’m not sure why I scheduled the food to arrive at 10:30, except that I knew I’d be there by then I guess.

Baylor gave the Tigers considerably more of a fight than expected in Waco last year, but unfortunately their best player is out for the season with an injury.  We shall beat them badly as a result, moving to 2-0 in the new winning part of the season, another small step toward the 5-0 finish before heading to the Big 12 Champeenship game at Jerryworld in Dallas.

I’m headed to the dentist momentarily, so humor will be limited to beaker antics.  After earlier reports of beakers hating each other (football and basketball teams fighting), the love pendulum may have swung a bit too far the other direction with the beaker basketball stars.   Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Um, screw ku.

Happy Homecoming, Tiger fans.  Father weather and mother nature have provided the required ingredients — a slight chill, pretty falling leaves, and rain, to accompany the other traditional homecoming happenings at Ol’ Mizzou.  Mizzou hosts the Longhorns from the University of Texas Saturday night, kickoff is scheduled for 7:00 p.m. to be broadcast on ABC.

Unless the monsoon picks back up on Saturday, I’d expect to be at the tailgate by 1:00 or so.  We have a variety of food coming — CJ’s wings, SEMO ribs, and Smitty meat — plus other things I’m sure, I wouldn’t expect much of that to be there until 4:00 or after.  Look forward to seeing the crowd of coming-homers.

After two losses that should have been wins, the Tigers will depart Faurot Field Saturday evening with a victory that was unexpected, even by both of the optimistic MU football fans.  This will also be payback for the drubbing the Tigers received in Austin last year and another Big 12 North title will still be in the works.

My memories {clap} of that drubbing {clap} heavily involve {clap} a UT fan that {clap} sat in the visitors section {clap} with us last year {clap} in Austin.  As UT was {clap} scoring like crazy {clap} throughout the early {clap} part of the game, {clap} she clapped {clap} at a rhythm of about {clap} 40 claps per minute.  {clap} Even better, she {clap} was doing so {clap} directly in the {clap} left ear of one {clap} of our friends.  For the entire {clap} first quarter, {clap} at least, {clap} maybe the first {clap} half {clap}.  She was old, she and her Mizzou companions were otherwise certainly polite, we were in shock from one in our group’s stairwell-induced broken wrist, we were getting trounced, and she was old, so we left her alone.

Sometime long, long after it was clear there would be no Mizzou victory, a penalty was called on one of the Texas lineman.  I politely pointed out that he was a cheater.  Not just me, the referee was good enough to tell everyone in attendance, and also the national television audience, that this kid had broken the rules of the game.  Clearly, a cheater.  CHEATER!  #75 is a cheater!  (maybe not #75, but that’s what I seem to remember.)

The old lady UT fan tapped me on my shoulder 2 plays later.  “You know, sometimes, I wish I was a man,” she said.  Um, OK, I replied, to the crazy old clap lady.  “Cause, you know, if I was a man, I might say some mean things like you just said.”   I did my best to go back to leaving her alone, while she wasn’t as interested in leaving me alone.  I eventually had to actually use the words “I’m done talking to you” to try to get her to leave me alone.  Her {clap} rhythmic clapping {clap} (and all the booze) did {clap} dull my senses {clap}, though, to where I was {BOOM} perfectly able to sleep {BOOM} in our rented apartment {BOOM} on 6th Street {BOOM}.  Above {BOOM} one of {BOOM} 17 dance clubs {BOOM} on that block {BOOM} {BOOM} that {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM} all {BOOM} {BOOM} stayed open {BOOM} {BOOM} until 3:00 {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM}.  Beat UT, screw ku.

Happy beat Nebraska week, Tiger fans.  MU hosts the Corn on Thursday, kick off is scheduled for 8:01 p.m. on ESPN.  Yes, really, 8:01 p.m.  Bryan Ninichuck and Todd Bennington of Wingate Pest Control fame will be handling the tailgate food, much thanks to them, call Wingate for all your pest control needs.  Roads around the stadium will be extremely chaotic, but will be shooting to be at the tailgate by 5:00 p.m.  A few will almost certainly be there before that.

Now a walk down memory lane…

The year was 2000, three of us went up to Lincoln for the Tigers game against Nebraska, my first visit to their Memorial Stadium.  Prior to this, my experience with Nebraska fans was mostly at CJ’s, where they were nice, much-fun, old people, maybe a little overweight.   We learned quickly that you couldn’t stand up for long, as the “maybe a little overweight” was an understatement and there literally wasn’t enough room for everyone to sit.  It was like musical chairs every time there was a good play, last one standing had to stay that way.

As for the game, Sarah was taking photos while Rib and I were in the stands for what was a relatively exciting game (Kirk Farmer broke his collar bone game). Afterwards, as the Nebraska fans strolled quietly out of the stadium, I asked a group of them what the deal was.  They’d just won a football game, for the love of God, but were acting like they were leaving the theatre after watching Schindler’s List.  Winning’s just not that big of a deal, was the reply.  “We expect to win these games” and just didn’t like the way they looked doing it.  Wow, I thought, what a bunch of arrogant, no-fun, old people.  Maybe a little overweight.

Fast-forward to 2003, some kid named Brad Smith led the Tigers to a 41-24 victory.  Sarah was in a plane taking photos beforehand and the early part of the game, she then lugged all her gear from Reactor Field to the press box in the rain to hustle down and take game photos.  My parents, Adelaide, and I sat in the press box.  A shocking 28-point 4th quarter broke open the game for the Tigers… I can still clearly remember the smell of the evergreen bushes being trampled by the students and fans as they rushed the field from the hill.  After the game we hung out for a long long time, celebrating the victory.  We went home, started to settle in, only to have the replay of the game come back on TBS at about 2:00 a.m.  Sarah & I sat there and watched it all again, both of us giddy at the entire thing.

Now to 2008, back in Lincoln, I walked out of the stadium in front of a couple of 28-ish year olds who were voicing their displeasure.  On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about how they were used to winning and how “all these Missouri fans just don’t realize that we’re not used to watching us get beat this badly.  We just have never seen us get beat that badly.”  I politely pointed out that they should be used to it by now, as we’d beaten them almost exactly that badly the year before too.

This is the 11th consecutive MU-Nebraska game I’ve attended (1999-2009) and my 15th or so overall.  During that span, the contest has evolved from Missouri fans generally being happy not watching a blow-out, to closely contested games (kicked ball and I still think MU wins the game in Lincoln if Farmer doesn’t break a bone), to beating Nebraska 52-17 and 41-6 the past two years.  Blaine Gabbert was in the 6th grade or something the last time Nebraska managed to win in Columbia.  The last time their coach was in Columbia, Sarah took a picture of him precisely because he looked so ridiculous yelling at the referees.

Look how ridiculous he looks!

I don’t think MU will blow out Nebraska this time, but I do think next year’s team will be full of Tigers who are undefeated against the boys from Nowledge.  41-24 seems like another good score in this contest to me.

The Team of the 90s, The Big Red Machine from Lincoln, Nebraska…. Have fun with those memories, Corn.  The oddsmakers have installed the Nubs as slight favorites in this game.  Of course they also picked ILL to beat MU.    Here’s a video that shows the early part of the Mizzou > Nebraska evolution  (kicked-ball warning) http://www.rockmnation.com/2009/5/22/883591/zoudave-feels-it-coming-in-the-air

p.s.  Note how I didn’t mention the fat lady running over all out of breath to clap in my face and tell me we’d done a good job, they’d lost plenty of times too, in 2004 as I’m leaving their stadium, trying to make my way down the stairs around her; the dope Husker player who punched one of our fans in 2003; or the myriad of arrestees who littered Nub rosters over their good years while Coach Pinkel continues to stock the roster with top quality kids and beat Nebraska.

on a side note, screw ku.

After the 2007 Mizzou football season, Sarah was approached by a gentleman named Darin Wernig, who was hoping to write a book about the season.  It all came together, eventually including both the 2007 and 2008 seasons, with Sarah’s photography featured throughout the 2007 portion of the book and on the cover.

The book will be for sale soon via the University of Missouri press.  I received our copy in the mail this week.  Below is the front cover, back cover, and a nice mention of Sarah that appears early in the book.

Hear the Roar! front cover

Hear the Roar! back cover

Hear the Roar! interior page

One of the sites I’ve used (and that Mpix.com partners with) for Sarah’s photos just rolled out a new feature… testing here.

Mizzou Photos

Best of 2007 MU Football pictures

The kids and I are back to normal now after the travel gauntlet of Christmas.  We had a total of six family celebrations in four days, which is fairly typical holiday style.  Their big gifts were a remote controlled dinosaur for Jack (remote controlled seemed to be a theme for him) and an American Girl doll for Adelaide.  Her “twirling skirt” and HS Musical dance pad were also big hits, as was lots of the other stuff of course.

Except for moments here and there, Christmas was OK for me.  I had expected Christmas morning to be relatively awful (not because of relatives), but perhaps all that build up prepared me as things went well.  We had a quiet morning/day at home with plenty of time to play with all the newly acquired stuff.  There were times scattered throughout Christmas that were hard, but until New Year’s came (to be explored in another post probably), it was very smooth for all of us.

On Sunday I travelled to San Antonio via Memphis to attend the Mizzou football game versus Northwestern in the Alamo Bowl.  The trip  had a sense of dread attached to it also, because of our time in San Antonio. (Sarah & I lived there in 1996 & 1997, have made many trips back.)

I arrived Sunday evening and stumbled around the Riverwalk and Southtown for a while, running into some old and new friends along the way, including some on the plane from Memphis.  It was a very nice welcome back to San Antonio for me, a blending of the old familiar with the new familiar that eased my way into the vacation.  I appreciate all who I chatted with along the way.

A couple of friends with nicknames came to town on Monday, with a beaker brother-in-law in tow, and we all hit the game Monday night.  A friend helped me with the tickets, so we happened to be sitting in the coach/staff family section for the game.  If you think the average fan watches those games anxiously, I’ll point out it’s absolutely nothing compared to the families of those who are involved in the action.  As the game went down to the wire, I found myself watching those around me as much as the game, making sure everyone was OK.

Again, it was a blending of old familiar and new familiar as Sarah would have been equally nervous near the end of that game.  If you’ve ever tried to find a shot of hers from the end of a nail-biter game, you’ll notice that the pictures posted are always just after the final play is over.  She turned into a complete fan in those circumstances, putting the camera down and cheering, making sure everyone was OK, then picked it up and started shooting once we won.

The game turned out well, yay, with an overtime victory for the Tigers.  All teams feel like they deserve to win, no doubt, but especially true for these guys.  Congrats to all.  (And please go recruit some more bootheel kids.)

On Tuesday, then, I was again alone walking around our old neighborhood and eating with our San Antonio friends.  Fun and hard, familiar and uncomfortable, all describe that day.  Only thing certain to come out of it was we should have spent more time at LaTuna and should open a similar joint in Columbia when time and circumstances allow.

2009 is here, like it or not.  Down with the mythical shoe-wearing birds.

Dave Matter, one of the top two sportswriters in the State of Missouri, posts the following in the Columbia Tribune’s Behind The Stripes blog:

This week’s ESPN the Magazine features a cover story by senior writer Seth Wickersham on Missouri’s Chases, Daniel and Patton.

“It kind of came out of the blue, so I was pretty shocked they came up with that idea,” Patton told me about the interview and photo shoot, which took place during the team’s recent bye week. “It’s an honor.”

I’ve read an advance copy of the story. I think Tiger fans will enjoy.

The ESPN Magazine article is here.