Jason's Untimely Thoughts

Happy Thursday, Tiger fans!

On Saturday our beloved Tigers host an old foe from conferences gone by — the Wildcats of Kansas State University. Kickoff is scheduled for the awful time of 11:00 a.m. The parking lots open at 7:00, so come on out anytime you like, I’ll be there.

Because of the awful 11:00 a.m. kickoff time, and everyone’s habit of arriving at about 10:15 for those games, planned tailgate food will be minimal. We’ll have some coffee, makings for screwdrivers and bloodies, the normal variety of other drinks, and some donuts or something similar. Bring anything you’d like to add to that mix.

Mizzou and K-State have been playing since the old Missouri Valley Conference Days, thru the Big 6, Big 7, Big 8, and the disastrous Big 12 conference. In all that time, they’ve still not managed to find anything but a head for their stupid mascot. We conveniently played a team that was dressed like them last week, in a visualization game matchup, so look for a similar outcome this week — 27-20 Tigers, I say, as the Tigers improve to 3-0 on the season, just as everyone that sits near me at the games has clearly and loudly believed all along.

I went with a friend to the game at K-State last year. I immediately stepped in a puddle getting out of his truck, it rained most of the game, there were two lightning delays, the game was awful, and we had a low tire issue on the way home. It sucked. Speaking of things that suck, screw ku.

Happy Thursday, Tiger fans! On Saturday, our beloved Tigers host the Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders. Kickoff is scheduled for 6:00 p.m. as our guys look to improve to 2-0 on the season. The athletic department has dubbed this as a “white out” game, so wear all the white Mizzou gear that you have in your closet.  

I’ll be at the tailgate for good around 1:00 p.m, I’d imagine, come when you will. It’s a Lydia birthday tailgate, so be sure and tell her happy birthday. Embarrassment, it’s the gift that keeps on giving for all 15-year olds. We’ll have wings from D.Rowe’s and CJ’s and a big box of chips from Lutz’s. ‘Cause what goes better with a white out game than a bunch of wings? As always, sides, desserts, and friends are good things to bring if you’re bringing stuff. Or add to the messy white shirts with some spaghetti, tacos, jelly donuts, a watermelon, or a friend that just finished digging a ditch.

Blue Raiders — are they raiders that are blue, or do they just habitually raid blue things? Speaking of things that blow, screw ku.

Happy Football, Tiger fans!

The best time of the year is here, but has snuck up on me. Mainly because it’s been 138 thousand million degrees, I think, but for whatever reason I’m feeling a bit surprised by the start of the season.

Our beloved Tigers begin their 15-0 campaign by hosting the South Dakota somethings on Thursday. Kickoff is scheduled for 7:00 p.m. The tailgate lots open at Noon, so I’ll be in the normal spot in Lot D then. I may come and go a little, but imagine I’ll be back there permanently no later than 2:00. Come when you will. It’s a Stripe the Stadium game, so stripe yourself appropriately.

I don’t know their nickname, we don’t know how much anyone is going to play quarterback, and I have no idea who will be at the tailgate, nor what food will be there. I’m fairly certain people will attend, I’m mostly certain some of them will bring food, I’m 95% certain I’m not bringing food, and I’m 100% certain I’ll end this missive with something mildly derogatory about a mythical shoe-wearing bird. On a side note, screw ku.

Happy Double “Football” season, Tiger fans!

On Saturday, our beloved Tigers host the New Mexico State Aggies, kick off is scheduled for 6:30 p.m.  It’s also senior day, for some reason, so go in early and celebrate the seniors.  

On Sunday, the World Cup starts, so it’s the best of the best of the best time of the year as we’ll have “football” from around the globe — featuring crazy places called “Qatar”, “Wales”, “New Mexico” and more. I much appreciate our game against “New Mexico” being senior day, as I do like to go in early for those festivities.  Now if someone can adjust the start time of the Arkansas game for me so I can watch all of the USA vs England game before Mizzou kickoff, I’d much appreciate it.  

As befitting a cold November night game against what’s possibly a fictional opponent, the tailgating scene at our spot will be minimal.  I’ll have a cooler, possibly two.  I’ll have a chair, possibly three.  And I’ll have four flags.  No idea what time I’ll get there, but I hope to see you and yours there shortly thereafter.  

Speaking of cold November games and fictional things…. Remember that time Mizzou beat kU in Arrowhead to go to #1 in the country?  That was awesome*.  On a side note, screw ku.

*you should go back and look at that history, it really was awesome.

Happy November, Tiger fans!

On Saturday, our beloved Tigers host the Wildcats from the University of Kentucky.  Kickoff is at the wonderful time of 11:00 a.m., so I’ll be at the tailgate stupid early.  (Stupid early = pretty much same time I always get there.)  Come when you will.  

The weather forecast was not good earlier in the week, but has improved each day and is now looking like blue skies and perfect temperatures.  So just like every other day that ends in Y — a fantastic day for football.

We’ll be light on food this tailgate.  I’m sure we will end up bringing something small, but beyond beating Kentucky, the theme of the tailgate is likely to be everyone showing up pretty close to kickoff and already having had breakfast.  (Or the breakfast part of that should be your theme, anyway, because we won’t have much food.)

Before homecoming, I told you we’d beat Vandy, win at SCar, then have a 4-0 November.  As history* has shown, everything I predict in these emails comes true.  Come on out Saturday and watch us beat a blue basketball school in football, like the good old days, as Mizzou starts on that 4-0 November.

Speaking of blue basketball schools, screw ku.

*many things about these writings are in fact very predictable, history agrees.  

Happy Homecoming, Tiger fans!

We enter the eye of the happiest time of the year hurricane this weekend, as Mizzou Homecoming is upon us!  On Saturday, our beloved Tigers host the Commodores from Vanderbilt University, kickoff is at 3:00 pm.  It’s a gold rush game, so wear your gold.  Or play Rush pinball at Shakespeare’s.  Either way.

The trees are in great fall color and the weather will be perfect all weekend, as history demands that it be on homecoming weekend*.  I’ll be at the tailgate for good around 11:30, earlier if I skip the parade.  Come on by when you will.  

We will have ribs from southeast Missouri as the main fare, any side of your liking would be an awesome thing to bring, if you’re in to bringing things.  Otherwise, meat on a bone and football, as God intended.  (I think I just got elected Senator from an SEC state with that slogan.)

There’s nothing funny to say about Vanderbilt.  Their basketball court sucks and they borrow a marching band from a nearby university, but making fun of a struggling football team in black and gold isn’t my style.  Thankfully, after this week the struggles are over.  Wins over Vandy and at SCar will put the Tigers back on track and ready for a 4-0 November.  On a side note, screw ku.

*history does not in fact demand perfect weather on homecoming weekend.

Happy fall, Tiger fans!

On Saturday, our beloved Tigers host the Bulldogs from the University of Georgia.  It’s the happiest portion of the happiest time of the year as the weather will be gorgeous and we get one of the top kickoff times of 6:30 p.m.

Mattress By Appointment will be catering the food at this tailgate, call that guy over there for all your mattress purchasing needs.  Big Daddy’s BBQ will be bringing pulled chicken and brisket for sliders along with some sides (beans and coleslaw I think?).  Food should arrive around 3:30.  A couple of people are bringing desserts, but more desserts, chips, and friends are always good things to bring if you’re bringing something.  We’ll have some Georgia fans at the tailgate, prepare to be barked at.  And prepare for them to get laughed at for adult barking.

I’ve heard a bunch of jive this week about “getting Mizzou’d” or similar regarding last week’s game.  I have no idea what that means, as Jack & I left to get out of the sun right before our All American kicked the game winning field goal at the end of regulation to beat Auburn.* 

So, I assume, “getting Mizzou’d” is winning in awesome and dramatic fashion.  Sacking Todd Reesing for safety to seal the victory.  Beating Florida with a 2-point conversion in overtime last year.  A goal line stand to beat LSU 2-years ago.  Henry Josey running like mad at the end of the game to beat ANM and seal the SEC East.    Beating the #1 team in the country on aSaturday night in October as their red-clad fans look on in shock.  Here’s to whipping that tradition out again, and getting back to getting Mizzou’d.

Speaking of jive, the mythical shoe-wearing birds have not yet lost a football game this season.  Luckily, it’s hurricane season and there’s a Cyclone with a cardinal trapped inside that’s blowing in to Larry to stop that nonsense.  screw ku.

*don’t go look at the history

Wednesday greetings, Tiger fans!

On Saturday, our beloved Tigers host Abilene Christian at our standard 11:00 a.m. kickoff time.  They’re the Wildcats, they’ll be wearing purple, kickoff at 11:00, at no time in history* has that ever worked out poorly for the Tigers.  Come revel in the victorious fun.

I’ll be at the tailgate early, please join when you will.  We’ll have a bunch of breakfast burritos from CCMO, assorted other breakfast items, makings of appropriate breakfast drinks, and some out-of-towners for family weekend/dad’s weekend gatherings across campus.  As always, friends and sides are good things to bring with you.

It’s a revenge game for the Tigers — if we beat these purple Wildcats by more than the margin last week, Mizzou will move to undefeated in the aggregate scorebook.  So, that’s something (that I just made up).  It also won’t take place in the wrong Manhattan and I (hopefully) won’t still be soaking wet many hours after the conclusion of the game.  Major improvements.

Christian Wildcats, not happening in kansas, victory assured, tailgate happenings, good times are here again.  Now, hear again, screw ku.

*don’t go back and look at the history

Happy football season Tiger fans!

On Thursday, the happiest time of the year begins as our beloved Tigers host the Bulldogs from Louisiana Tech University. Kickoff is at 7:00 p.m. on what looks to be a beautiful evening.

Lot D is again the spot, Mike Messer and Jim Yankee are picking up wings, pulled pork, and other items from D. Rowe’s. The lots open at 1:00, food will arrive around 4:00. Please join us when work and life allow. As always, friends, sides, and desserts are good things to bring if you’re interested in bringing things.

Playing on a Thursday night is unusual. I didn’t have time to go back and look at the history*, but I don’t think playing a home game on Thursday night has ever worked out poorly for the Tigers. It’s always great weather, happy victories, and much fun. 15-0 is in the works.

While it’s officially college football opening weekend, some poor team from Nebraska flew all the way to Ireland to get beat by Nebraska last weekend. Let’s all politely clap at their effort. Speaking of teams that stink (and ways to get the clap), screw ku.

*don’t go back and look at the history

Happy Thursday, Tiger fans!  Sadly, the happiest time of the year is coming to a close, as our beloved Tigers play their final home game of the season this Saturday.  Mizzou hosts the Florida Gators (chomp) with a bowl game invitation on the line for Mizzou and a termination slip on the line for no one’s favorite coach, Dan Mullen.  Mizzou shall win 31-24. Victory.  Victory!!  Go in early, cheer on the seniors.  

Florida — surprisingly bland.  That’s my description.  Kim & I went to a game there once. It was fine.  Like Lubbock with nicer weather maybe?  Except Tech would never let Samford score 50 points on them.  And then their current coach consistently starts, um, shit, and then shows up at the post-game press conference with a Darth Vader mask on.  And then his wife (maybe not anymore?) creepily greets every player with a kiss on the mouth as they’re getting off the bus before the game.  Bland, but gross.  Unusual, but mostly uninteresting.  Here this weekend, but unwanted.  Searching for a win to save his job, but unlikely (Later Gator).  Victory.  Victory!!

Kickoff is scheduled for 3:00 p.m., I’ll be at the tailgate way before that.  If you get there early enough, you can hang out with me and watch The Arsenal beat Liverpool on the telly.  Top of the table by Boxing Day!
We will have beverages at the tailgate.  We will presumably have some food, but I have no idea what.  We’re not planning a big spread this game, as I don’t think we willl have a big crowd this game.  I hope to be proven wrong, however (about the crowd, not about everyone hating Dan Mullen, the Gunners beating ‘pool, and Mizzou victory).  Bring food and friends if you like, happy to see everyone.   Except Dan Mullen, that guy, I tell ya.

Speaking of things I tell ya, screw ku (and point and laugh at Texas!).