Jason's Untimely Thoughts

Happy Friday, Tiger fans!

Tomorrow the Tigers host the Gators from Florida for win number three of a scheduled seven-game winning streak. Kickoff is scheduled for 11:00 am, which I hate.

Similar to most other early start time games, minimal food is planned or expected. Jack has a basketball game in Jeff City tomorrow morning, so family will likely be split between events. I’ll be at the tailgate waiting for you, though, so don’t let me down.

Florida comes to town with a newly anointed interim head coach. Their last coach was let go after potentially exaggerating the number of death threats made against him for not winning enough games. He was also let go for not winning enough games. This will likely be the first of three games Mizzou plays down the stretch against interim-lead teams. #SEC #SEC #SEC.

Florida is also starting a new quarterback. I don’t think the old one fabricated death threats, but I can’t be sure. Anywho, tomorrow shall be a repeat of the past two weeks, where Mizzou scores like crazy and the defense steps up, resulting in the Tiger faithful doing the Gator #chomp.

Speaking of death threats, the mythical shoe-wearing birds are 7.5 point underdogs to Baylor this week. Baylor is 0-8 on the year. The shoebirds are wearing special uniforms specifically designed to honor “Jennison’s Jay-Hawkers” who operated as thieves, plunderers, and murderers during the Civil War days. This article is a good brief read on Jennison in particular and the tactics of the group. Some tidbits:

• His commander criticized Jennison for “cross[ing] the line, [to] rob, steal, plunder, and burn whatever they can lay their hands upon.”
• His unit was moved to New Mexico to prevent their continued onslaught against Missouri cities. So he resigned his army commission, accused the Lincoln government of supporting slavery and was arrested for encouraging his men to desert.
• After returning and being re-commisioned into the kansas militia, in 1865 he “was again arrested for renewed jayhawking there. He was court-martialed, found guilty” and was dishonorably discharged.

(and yes, I know Missourians and many others did bad things during this era also. If Mizzou’s mascot was Bushwhackers or Slaveholders or some such you’d have a point. But it’s not, so you don’t.)

Arrested for renewed jayhawking is a criminal charge I can support. on a side note, screw ku.

Happy Homecoming, Tiger fans. On Saturday, the beloved boys in black & gold host the Vandals from Idaho. Kickoff is scheduled for 11:00 a.m., which sucks.

Due to early start time, which always means a smaller tailgate crowd, and the parade and such pre-game, tailgating will be missing a food theme this week. I’ll be there, if you want to bring something to eat I’ll happily eat it, but not expecting much of a rush of people until right before the game.

As for football, I’m appreciative of the Vandals coming to town for a homecoming beat down. Thank you, Vandals, thank you. Successive victories over Vandals, Huskies, Gators, Volunteers, Commodores, and pigs will have us all feeling much better about ourselves.

Speaking of feeling better about ourselves, screw ku.

Happy Friday, Tiger fans. Our beloved football team hosts Auburn on Saturday. Kickoff is scheduled for 6:30 pm. We have volleyball Saturday morning, so will be there early to setup and then back around 2:00. Mike & Sarah Messer are taking care of food this weekend. Call Mike & Sarah for all your insurance and home loan needs.

Lee’s Chicken will be showing up around 4:00, with fried chicken (war eagle), mashed potatoes, green beans, and biscuits. If bringing stuff, bring things that complement any of that. Like a friend, they’ll probably say nice things about the food. And victory, bring plans for a victory.

On to the game, last week I correctly guaranteed the black and gold would win. Sadly, I didn’t account for the opponent’s color scheme. I’ve learned from my mistakes, though, so am going with the Tigers for your stone cold lock of the week this time. Go Tigers.

On Auburn, seriously, orange and blue as colors for Tigers? Come on. And you have a Tiger as a nickname but use an eagle for some made up reason? And scream “WAR EAGLE” at me as I’m getting off the hotel elevator in Atlanta for the SEC championship game? All of you. Every Auburn fan screamed at me as I was getting off the elevator. All in my face with their “WAR EAGLE!!@@!!@@!!@”

Auburn is silly. Boo eagle, I say, boo eagle. Go Tigers, beat the silly Tigers. On a side note, screw ku.

Happy Friday, Tiger Fans. Our beloved football team hosts the Boilermakers from Purdue University tomorrow at 3:00 p.m. Tailgate will start early, so you should too. Mattress By Appointment generously purchased food from Dickey’s BBQ. Meats, sides, sauces, and such should arrive around noon. You should too.

In a weird schedule quirk, the football team actually opened with 2 scrimmages, so this will be our first official game. I personally guarantee the black and gold will be victorious this time. Since hosting the Boilermakers, a good tailgate host would have beer and whiskey around to make boilermakers. Unfortunately, I have friends from college in town this weekend, so I drank all of the whiskey Wednesday night. All of it. In Columbia. There’s no more whiskey. It made for super productive Thursday though.

So, come tailgate. Eat food. See old friends and old family. Watch the Tigers win. Then tell your friends to go buy a mattress. Mattress By Appointment – not really a boldly named prostitution store. Mattress By Appointment – yes, you really need to make an appointment because I’m likely at a kid’s sporting event. Mattress By Appointment – get your Dickey’s BBQ off my mattress! Mattress by Appointment – hey, buy a mattress!

Speaking of mattresses, screw ku.

With that kind of headline, this thing is going to write itself.

On Saturday, our beloved Tigers host the South Carolina Gamecocks in the first real game of the season. Kick off is scheduled for 6:00 p.m. We’ll have wings from CJ’s and D Rowe’s on hand, and on our hands.  As normal, sides and desserts are good bringing options, if looking to bring something. Saturday is also Lydia’s birthday, so birthday cake or similar will be making an appearance as well.

Adelaide has a volleyball tournament in Jeff City, so not sure what time food will be there. Shooting for 2:00 p.m., but we conveniently know nothing about the volleyball schedule yet. Someone will be there by 2, I’m sure. You should be too.

As predicted, the Tigers treated last week’s game against the former directional school as a scrimmage. Tried lots of different things on defense especially, including letting SMS score a bunch. This week the plan is to not let SCar score at all, while our offense still goes crazy. It will be fun and good times and winning, prepare accordingly.

See you Saturday, come on out and have some (Game)Cock wings and Lydia’s birthday cake! 15-0 is still on the horizon. Speaking of the horizon, screw ku.

Happy New Year Tiger Fans!

Football season starts soon. Coach Odom had the media on lock down this summer, so Mizzou has scheduled a public scrimmage Saturday morning to get ready for the season. Missouri’s flagship university will host the Fourth District Normal School* football team.  Kick off is scheduled for 11:00 a.m.

Being a practice game, morning kickoff, Labor Day weekend, and the first of four straight home games to start the season, I don’t expect tailgating to be very crowded. I’ll be there early of course, Lot D and all. We’ll have various to be determined breakfast items. Bring some, and bring yourself as well.

Excitement for the game is so high I heard the following comments last night (true). Person 1: “Who are we playing, I don’t even know who we’re playing.” Person 2: “Who is that, I’ve never even heard of that school. Where is it?” We were at a soccer game, so probably explains some lack of general sports knowledge, but still. SMS, seems like maybe the rebranding efforts still need to be stepped up. Maybe you can just change your name to Missouri next time.

I attended 20 minutes of one practice this fall where I was most impressed on one of our defensive coach’s cursing ability. He was easily a Top 10 curser. Based on that extensive research, I feel confident in predicting WINS, occasional GOLD PANTS!!!!, a return to the SEC Championship game, and overall roughly a 15-0 record. Go Tigers!

Finally, some relatively important changes for the season that will impact you if you go to Tiger Walk or carry a purse. Tiger Walk has been moved, it will now be on the other side of the stadium, starting in front of Mizzou Arena (ish) and going down by the east stands to the south end zone. On purses/bags/etc, Mizzou has joined lots of other places in requiring clear bags only. They say small clutches are permitted, but that seems like a personal issue to me.

*Yes, Fourth District Normal School is what the school was founded as. On a side note, screw ku.

Happy Thanksgiving, Tiger fans.  Mizzou football, it’s still happening.

On Friday, the Tigers host Arkansas at 1:30 p.m.  We’ll have tamales and pork loin at the tailgate, hopefully we’ll have some people show up to eat and watch the Tigers beat the Razorbacks.  You know the drill, I’ll be there early, you come when you will. Side dishes or desserts are good bringing options.

The season hasn’t not sucked, but a win Friday will make it feel better.  Go in early and cheer on these 16 guys in their last appearance as players at Faurot.

Football!  Mattresses!  Football!  Football!  Our beloved Tigers take on the Vanderbilt Commodores this Saturday at 2:30.  Tailgate will start well before that, of course.  We’ll have wings from CJ’s and D Rowe’s as the main fare, provided by Mattress by Appointment and Flat Branch Home Loans.  Call them for all your home loan and mattress needs.  Seriously, baby needs a new pair of mattresses.  And a home loan.

I’ve decided the SEC love fest is over.  We’ve been too nice, hardly any animosity anywhere, general good-spiritedness has ruled the day.  No more.  Down with Vanderbilt and your Commodores.  That was a fine name for an early Apple computer, but is a terrible name for a…. ah, who am I kidding.  I don’t hate Vanderbilt.  Nashville is great.  Vanderbilt is mostly wonderful, except for their stupid basketball arena layout.  Oh well, we shall beat them anyway.

Go Tigers, beat the lovable Commodores.  And on a side note, screw ku.

Happy Wednesday, Tiger fans,

We’ve reached the grey and cloudy portion of October, which sadly reflects our football mood as well. However, all will be right in the world on Saturday after the Tigers play like Tigers of old and beat up on some football team parading around in the blue uniforms of a basketball school. Kickoff is scheduled for 11:00 a.m., which means early tailgating. I’ll be there before you, come when you will.

Taylor McKee is doing his part to make all right in the world by providing (some) food and booze for the game. Kentucky Fried Chicken, Kentucky Hot Brown sliders, and a good old Kentucky bourbon concoction. As always, sides and desserts are good bringing options. And people, bring some people.

Speaking of people, I told people before the game last week that it would be the toughest of the next four, based on my internet reading prowess. Didn’t mean for it to be quite that tough, but still… Wins, they’re still coming.

Go Tigers, beat UK, and on a side note, screw ku.

Happy Wincoming, Tiger fans. That’s right, Wincoming. The wins, they are a coming. Weather is changing, trees, are changing, happiest time of the year, blah blah blah, wins are coming.

Kickoff this Saturday is at 3:00 p.m. as the good guys host Middle Tennessee State. As well all know, Middle Tennessee is not even a state. Wins a coming. (Seriously, Middle Tennessee is pretty good.  But still, wins a coming.)

Bryan Ninichuck and Pat Hanson are smoking ribs and chicken at the tailgate. Thanks to them for the smoke and meat. Call Wingate Pest & Lawn for your pest and lawn needs, then call Clearwater Appraisals to measure the increased value of your pest free, good lawned home.

The entire family went to LSU to watch deux Tigers and then Kim and I went to Florida to watch the Gator Tigers. Kudos to those of you who pointed out seeing us on TV at Florida, sticking around to watch that much of the game. So, yeah, wins are coming.

LSU game day atmosphere was great around the stadium, Baton Rouge in general was blah. Florida’s game day wasn’t as good, but campus and the area surrounding it were nicer. In all, none of that beats Lot D on a good day. (Although we could stand to learn a lot from LSU gameday atmosphere.) Speaking of good gameday atmosphere, screw ku.