Jason's Untimely Thoughts

Happy weekend before Thanksgiving, Tiger fans.  On Saturday, the good guys will go for the sweep of Texas schools (Baylor doesn’t count), with kickoff against Texas Tech scheduled for 2:30 p.m.  It might rain, they say, which I say means the Tigers will rain points down upon the Red Raiders with great vengeance and furious anger.

Jessie Logan and Jim Yankee, of Flat Branch Home Loans, are providing the tailgate fare this week, via D. Rowe’s.  Pulled pork and smoked wings will be the main feast, food arriving around 11:30.  Also, please bring a healthy thirst for random leftover tailgate beer (and perhaps call a cab).  My fridgeth doth overflow.

It’s senior day, the last time these kids will play at Faurot Field, the last home game in the Big 6/7/8/12/12-2-1+1+1-1.  Go in early and give these guys a cheer.

on a side note, screw ku.

So, everyone content?  Seriously, each cheerful?  Strikingly, everyone’s calmer now. Suddenly, exhilaration commenced.   Saturday, everything continues.

The Tigers face the Longhorns from Texas on Saturday, almost certainly for the last time in Columbia in forever. (Although I do assume we’ll meet them in the National Championship game in two years or so.)  Game time is the wonderful 11:00 a.m.  Players and coaches seemingly love that start time, yet another reason why I’m not a player or coach.   I’ll be tailgating early, yet another another reason I’m not a player or coach, come join me when you will.  We’ll have various breakfast type things there.  Maybe some Sausage-Egg Casserole.  Saccharin Enhanced Cakes.  Seared Easter Candy.  Stop, everyone cries.

Perhaps the best thing about the coming conference change means I finally get some new material for these stupid tailgate emails.  In the meantime, here’s one of my favorites from year’s gone by.  Interestingly, I learned last week in Waco that many Texans, even, felt the same way.  To the point of identifying a particular Texas fan’s type of laugh.  Strange, eye contend.

Go Tigers, beat Bevo.  And on a side note, screw ku.

It’s homecoming week here (again) in Columbia, Mo.  The sudden chill in the air, the falling leaves, the brrrrrr cold rain is proof enough, but the highly ranked team from Oklahoma coming to town unsuspecting of the beatdown that awaits them is a sure sign.  Like Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner last year, Oklahoma State arrives from the land thief state this year.  Game time is 11:00 a.m., televised on FX (good luck finding that on your television dials).  When Gahn McGhaffie returns the opening kick for a TD again, may you all thank me simultaneously for this comparison.

Ok, it’s not really homecoming again, it just feels like it.  (What’s that, maybe I just can’t remember parts of last week?  Shut your mouth.)  We’ll be tailgating early again, bring a breakfast dish of your liking, should you desire.

Speaking of “it’s not really”, it’s not really the best team from Oklahoma coming to town, this is Oklahoma State.  They’re just coming to teach us how to Gundy.  Not content with being the second best team in Oklahoma (to OU), nor the (traditionally) second best OSU (to Ohio State), nor having the craziest coach (to Les Miles, their former coach), nor having the second craziest rich old alumni (ok, I give, I can’t think of anyone crazier than T. Boone Pickens), they’ve also gone all Oregon with the insane uniform combinations.  A wise man often told me (when Ok State came to town) that you can’t be proud walking around in orange pants.  It seems they 75% agree, as white, black, and grey are equally as likely Saturday.

Go Tigers.  Celebration of the second of the nine-game winning streak to finish the year (and the Big 12-2-1+1?) will be celebrated postgame.

Happy Homecoming Tiger fans,

100 years of Homecoming will be celebrated with pomp and circumstances of interest all over town this weekend.  The kids and I will be taking advantage of the first ever non-rainy homecoming to attend house decs Friday night, then the tailgate is on for Saturday prior to the 1 p.m. game against the Iowa State Cyclones. Join us at as many of those things as you like.

As has become recent tradition, Wingate Pest and Lawn Control is buying the food for the homecoming game.  Buckinghams will be bringing the spread.  If you’d like to contribute, any non-bbq or baked bean item would be acceptable.  I think I’m skipping the parade and will just be at the tailgate all morning, so stop by whenever you like.

No Mizzou football related email would be current without some level of grumbling over something or anonymous sourced SEC speculation.  That said, I recently overheard someone close to the University say that I (me, Jason) would like to punch about half the people grumbling and all of the people reporting anonymous sourced SEC speculation.  ISUck. I suck.

Call Wingate for all your pest and lawn control needs.  (Irony of having many pests and not that much growing grass at our tailgate spot duly noted.)  Go Tigers, Go Cardinals.  But not those Cardinals that had the misfortune of being caught in a tornado, screw those guys.  And the mythical shoe-wearing birds.

I’ve started going through Sarah’s digital photos, a task that’s kept me up late several nights this week.  Ultimately, many (more) of them will be going to our zenfolio site.   I’ve added a bunch of basketball photos there recently, but it’s really not anything much that wasn’t already on the basketball section of becking.com.  I’ll ultimately be putting a lot of Columbia College, other Mizzou sports, and some of the portraits and wedding stuff she took.

Anyway, while going through the basketball photos, I stumbled upon the fact that she’d taken photos of every Mizzou basketball head coach since 1967.  Of course it helps a lot that Norm coached for 32 years.  Here’s some of them:

Norm Stewart, Head Coach from 1967-1999, shown here when his #22 was being moved from Hearnes Center to Mizzou Arena

Quin Snyder and Brian Grawer, presenting game ball to Norm Stewart, after Mizzou beat KU.

Keyon Dooling and Quin Snyder

Coach Mike Anderson at his introductory press conference

Melvin Watkins as Interim Head Coach after Quin Snyder

Coach Melvin Watkins coaches his last game at Texas A&M, in a loss to Mizzou in the Big 12 Tournament

Coach Frank Haith (seated) and Coach Rick Barnes, coaching for Texas against Mizzou in 2004.

Thursday greetings, Tiger fans.  The good guys host the Leathernecks from Western Illinois on Saturday, kickoff is at 6:00 p.m.  The annual B-2 flyover will happen this game, sometime around 5:50, they say, so go in early or otherwise be prepared to shriek like a little girl when the thing flies over and surprises you.

Tailgate fare will include ribs from SE Missouri courtesy of Nancy & Bill and wings from Central Missouri courtesy of whichever restaurant I buy them from.  I’ll be at the spot by early afternoon, come join me when you will.

I’d make a bunch of time out jokes, but, then I’d have to punch myself in the face repeatedly.  And then put ice on my bruises.  And then make a bunch of “icing” jokes, which would make me stab myself in the eardrum.  It’s a vicious cycle.  It’s safe to say I don’t believe any time outs called or not played a factor in the outcome of the game, for any that are wondering.  And I’m sure you were all wondering.

The boys still have a chance to win the Big ?? conference, Go Tigers!  and on a side note, screw ku.

Here are a couple of items that might suprise you:

• I don’t really hate people just because they went to (or cheer for) ku.
• I do hate people yelling “M – I – Z” at me when I’m walking down the street.

On the ku thing, I like pretending to hate them.  Sometimes I actually do come close to hating individual players or teams of theirs.  It should be noted this was much easier when dadgum ole Roy was the coach.  I actually like Self, and until he won them a national championship*, I’m fairly confident I liked him better than most beaker fans did.

(*I also like pointing out that they claim 5 national championships, but only won 3.  Two were awarded years later by some random dude.   One of those some other random dude says Mizzou won.  So, give them credit for winning 3.  Yay them.  I further like pointing out that they went on probation for NCAA violations after each of those 3 they did win, so really, yay inconsequential NCAA violation policies.)

See, I don’t hate them.  I just hate the we’re so much better than you and have better morals too attitude that many of them go out of their way to crow about (free state nonsense, NCAA violations, MU fans were so mean to me/some random person I read about online, etc.).  Cheer for your team, I don’t care, just don’t claim to be morally superior and I’m fine.

Speaking of crows, there was a ku lady fan sitting near us at the Big 12 Tournament in KC.  We sat through three games on Thursday, she played Angry Birds on her iPad the entire time.  I’m not sure she was aware basketball games were being played.  The fourth game was Mizzou vs Texas Tech.  For this game, she played Angry Birds anytime Mizzou was ahead.  When Texas Tech scored to take the lead, her husband would nudge her, she’d put down Angry Birds, stand up and scream like crazy.  When Mizzou went back ahead, she went back to Angry Birds.  This story has no point, it was just entertaining (annoying) to watch.  (And in the interest of fairness, many Mizzou fans nearby were much more annoying than Angry Bird or any of the other nearby beaks.)

So, to sum, since none of that was overly clear.  I really don’t hate you if you went to ku or cheer for the mythical shoe-wearing birds.  Unless you act like an ass, in which case I probably do.  Similarly, though, if you’re constantly griping because Mizzou doesn’t have a fullback, or were mad because Brad Smith didn’t take enough snaps under center, I probably hate you too.

On M I Z, and then naturally also pertaining to Z O U, I love love love love the sound of that cheer in the fourth quarter of a football game, maybe with a little rain falling, cold enough that I can see my breath, when 70,000 are screaming the Tigers on to victory.  Transfer that to basketball environment, I’m equally in favor of it.  I’m not at all, however, in favor of it in small group settings.  I’m walking down the street, you’re on the other sidewalk, you yell “M I Z!”, I’m annoyed.  My historic reaction has just been to give you a little nod out of politeness, probably respond with a gentle “Go Tigers,” that’s it.  I’ve finally relented over the past few months, I now do respond “Z O U.”  I don’t really mean it, but I do it anyway.  No point in making sure random strangers think I’m an ass too, I figure.

Finally, my ranking of obnoxious fans, based solely on my travel to games.  The unquestionable leader, although tamed considerably after Mizzou started beating them handily, are CU football fans.  Outside of the stadium you could count on someone jumping in your face and yelling trash while you were walking through the parking lot.  Second, random ku female fans.  Most are great, but similarly it’s a safe bet that some college-aged female will start yelling hatred from across the street.  Third, a very close third, are Texans in trucks driving around Austin.  I really think the only reason I rank the Texans third is because I know none of them had likely ever even been to a game.

on a side note, screw ku.

Sadly, the final home game of the season is upon us yet again.  The Tigers host the Wildcats from k-state on Saturday, at 11:30.  Tailgate fare is again provided by Hoss’s Market, courtesy of Miller’s Professional Imaging.  Biscuits and gravy, egg casserole, pulled pork sandwiches, and so on will be served beginning by 9:30 a.m., I’ll be there well before that.  Not sure if the kids will be in attendance or not, should your decision be influenced by that in any way.

As appropriate for a visit by the grumpy old man coach in purple, I assume we’ll hear lots and lots of grumblings in our section from the old timers about how awful things have been recently.  They’ll also refer to how grumpy old man is a much better coach than our guy.  They won’t refer to grumpy’s 21-22 record over the past 3+ seasons, compared to our guy’s 37-11 mark in that time.   I assume they’ll also not refer to the fact that we’ll still win 10 games this year, before the bowl game, are going to celebrate the winningest senior class in Tiger history, and are generally in pretty good shape.  Better to be irrationally grumpy in mid-Missouri (pot, kettle, hi.)

They’ll have senior day festivities before the game, so go in early and cheer for these guys, all of whom are on track to graduate in May.  The third straight year, I think, that all seniors will have graduated.  Go Tigers!

Give ’em bruises, give ’em stitches, beat them Sooner sons a bitches.

The Tigers host Oklahoma tomorrow night at 7:00 p.m., as you might have heard.  Like Ron Burgundy, it’s kind of a big deal.   It’s also Homecoming, which traditionally means I make jokes about how it always rains at Homecoming.  There’s a reason I make those jokes.

The Homecoming Parade is at Noon, I’ll go to the tailgate from there.  Food this week is provided by Todd Bennington and Bryan Ninichuck (and Natalie and Val, I bet) of Wingate Pest Control and Lawn Maintenance fame.   Call Wingate for all your pesty lawn needs.   Chili, chili dogs, frito pies, and possibly other chili dishes will be the fare.  If interested in bringing anything else, a small side dish should cover any needs.   If you’re thinking about bringing any beer, don’t.  We have lots of beer.  Seriously, we have beer.

OU is favored, more highly ranked, and so on.  But it feels a lot like 2003 vs Nebraska to me.  Night game, rain, an opponent that’s not as good as they have been, and one that Mizzou owes a beating to, both because it’s simply been long enough and something necessary to take the next step.  OU is good, though, but it seems like Mizzou is too.  Should be a fun time.

p.s. I’m a little fired up about the game.

The beloved Tigers from Mizzou host the Colorado Buffaloes on their farewell tour this Saturday, kickoff is at 6:00 p.m.  I’m hosting a 20-year fraternity pledge class reunion at the tailgate, which is clearly both good and bad news.  Good news means food will again be provided by Hoss’s Market, there around 3:00 p.m.   I’ll be at the tailgate by Noon.  Bad news, well, we won’t get into that fully, but it’s safe to assume there will be ridiculous claims, tales of freakish adventure, and mildly inappropriate nicknames, and that’s just from the Preacher in the group.

The start of Big 12 play also means the bitterness is back in full swing, as you’ll soon notice.   The message of this week’s tailgate will be “Hey, shut up with your freaking 5th down stories already.  Yeah, I remember, thanks.  And yeah, it still makes me mad.  And yeah, he still hasn’t scored.  Yes, random fan in Boulder last year asking us if we still took that seriously, yes, we do.  Shut up.  We wuz robbed.  Seriously, shut up.  Or at least take down that national championship sign, either way.  Oh hey, look, the Tigers scored again.  Shut up.”

With the 5th down nonsense, 55-0 shall be the final score.   See you there at Noon.  Or 4.