Tigers Taxi
Home game number two is Saturday with our beloved Tigers moving to 3-0 with a win over the Furman Paladins. For all those who’ve asked, Furman is located in Greenville, South Carolina. A Paladin is defined as “paragon of chivalry; a heroic champion; a strong supporter or defender of a cause; and any of the 12 peers of French emperor Charlemagne’s court.” Kickoff is scheduled for 1:00 p.m., we’ll be tailgating by 10:00 I think. Ribs from Southeast Missouri will be the featured attraction, plus whatever you’d like to bring. Potentially even some birthday cake, in honor of Adelaide’s pending 7-dom.
It was all I could do to not type “I don’t care” as the answer to each What is it? and Where are they? And it’s ridiculously difficult to gear up to make fun of Furman. So, I’ll move on. I do assume the “FU” shirts their bookstore sells are big hits with South Carolina parents.
Columbia recently passed the 100,000 population mark, with news articles making the claim that it would lead to an influx of new businesses. While I can’t speak for all businesses, the freaking taxis have arrived. We now have approximately 19 taxi companies, a pedi-cab trolling around downtown, and some dudes who say they’ll drive drunks home in their own cars, stowing their foldable scooter in the trunk so the dudes can ride back downtown for the next round of drunks.
These taxis did us no good last week, however, when “Truman’s Taxi” failed just prior to pre-game. I know some of you found great humor in the sight of the yellow firetruck being towed away. Rest easy, I won’t be calling the police on you for your habit of pulling the wings off of butterflies, dressing as a clown on Halloween, and the other atrocities you surely practice. The kids will attempt to ride the firetruck pre-game again this week.
After re-reading this, I now realize I should have just spent the entire time making fun of South Carolina. on a side note, screw ku.
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