Jason's Untimely Thoughts

Happy Homecoming, Tiger fans.  Father weather and mother nature have provided the required ingredients — a slight chill, pretty falling leaves, and rain, to accompany the other traditional homecoming happenings at Ol’ Mizzou.  Mizzou hosts the Longhorns from the University of Texas Saturday night, kickoff is scheduled for 7:00 p.m. to be broadcast on ABC.

Unless the monsoon picks back up on Saturday, I’d expect to be at the tailgate by 1:00 or so.  We have a variety of food coming — CJ’s wings, SEMO ribs, and Smitty meat — plus other things I’m sure, I wouldn’t expect much of that to be there until 4:00 or after.  Look forward to seeing the crowd of coming-homers.

After two losses that should have been wins, the Tigers will depart Faurot Field Saturday evening with a victory that was unexpected, even by both of the optimistic MU football fans.  This will also be payback for the drubbing the Tigers received in Austin last year and another Big 12 North title will still be in the works.

My memories {clap} of that drubbing {clap} heavily involve {clap} a UT fan that {clap} sat in the visitors section {clap} with us last year {clap} in Austin.  As UT was {clap} scoring like crazy {clap} throughout the early {clap} part of the game, {clap} she clapped {clap} at a rhythm of about {clap} 40 claps per minute.  {clap} Even better, she {clap} was doing so {clap} directly in the {clap} left ear of one {clap} of our friends.  For the entire {clap} first quarter, {clap} at least, {clap} maybe the first {clap} half {clap}.  She was old, she and her Mizzou companions were otherwise certainly polite, we were in shock from one in our group’s stairwell-induced broken wrist, we were getting trounced, and she was old, so we left her alone.

Sometime long, long after it was clear there would be no Mizzou victory, a penalty was called on one of the Texas lineman.  I politely pointed out that he was a cheater.  Not just me, the referee was good enough to tell everyone in attendance, and also the national television audience, that this kid had broken the rules of the game.  Clearly, a cheater.  CHEATER!  #75 is a cheater!  (maybe not #75, but that’s what I seem to remember.)

The old lady UT fan tapped me on my shoulder 2 plays later.  “You know, sometimes, I wish I was a man,” she said.  Um, OK, I replied, to the crazy old clap lady.  “Cause, you know, if I was a man, I might say some mean things like you just said.”   I did my best to go back to leaving her alone, while she wasn’t as interested in leaving me alone.  I eventually had to actually use the words “I’m done talking to you” to try to get her to leave me alone.  Her {clap} rhythmic clapping {clap} (and all the booze) did {clap} dull my senses {clap}, though, to where I was {BOOM} perfectly able to sleep {BOOM} in our rented apartment {BOOM} on 6th Street {BOOM}.  Above {BOOM} one of {BOOM} 17 dance clubs {BOOM} on that block {BOOM} {BOOM} that {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM} all {BOOM} {BOOM} stayed open {BOOM} {BOOM} until 3:00 {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM} {BOOM}.  Beat UT, screw ku.