Archive for the ‘Mindless Ramblings’ Category
Keep Dancing
Realizing it’s been a long time since I wrote anything here… thinking my incessant drivel on twitter is serving somewhat to unbottle my nonsense that would normally then fester until finding its way here.
Last week was dance recital week at CPAC in Columbia, which is quite a scene (pictures coming soon). Adelaide is in two classes this year, so two dress rehearsals, two recitals, (and two sets of pictures and DVDs to purchase). At the first set of pictures, I was saying hello to one of CPAC’s main folks, who commented something like “This is the two weeks where you guys really hate us, isn’t it?” Struck me as funny, mostly because it used to be true, but not at all true now. And that I wish everyone involved could see how hard those folks work for these two weeks.
Sarah always took pictures out there, which used to be a two week process. So took place every night, or what felt like was every night, many of them with a child who was nursing, meaning I was scrambling all over town. Then long nights for her, I just really didn’t like it very much. Over time, though, got better, for lots of reasons. Their process improves every year, they were able to improve how pictures worked every year, and then I probably got better at watching the kids too. Regardless, the irony is that what I used to consider to be such a pain now is completely nothing and fun, precisely because what I used to consider to be such a pain is now normal. Much credit continues to go to neighbors and grandmothers for their assistance, however. I may be able to shuttle more easily, but I’m still not allowed to do makeup, buns, or low pony tails.
Otherwise, generally speaking, all is well. Personally, I’m doing pretty well, while professionally I continue to be in a job better than I deserve. I wish the professional was a little more to my liking at the moment, but it has a history of ebbing and flowing, so I’ll just hope that it squares up again soon. I’ve been on a couple of dates recently (with the same person). Which is odd, but good. I’d tried dating a bit before, but as I believe I’ve said here, failed mostly because of my issues. Combination of lots of things, but am mostly enjoying it now. About three months ago, I typed “And when I think about dating, I end up with the firm conviction that I only want to go on dates with someone that I know well that I don’t know at all. A convenient definition of a person that doesn’t exist.” Not exactly, but is reasonably close to the person who shall go unnamed at the moment.
I’m headed to Dallas on Thursday, for a weekend of fun with a friend from Mizzou days. One of more than a few friends I have now that I consider to be very close friends, which I really wasn’t all that tight with in college. Weird, since Mizzou is the connection, but am happy for it. (Obviously, I guess, or I wouldn’t travel all over the US to see these people.) Just a weekend when I was able to go, plus timing of a PGA tournament there that I’ve always heard is a good time. Then later realization that Buffett was playing on Saturday night (shut it music snobs), so I will return, but my liver may remain in Texas. Wish it worked out where I could see more friends in Texas, since I seem to have many there now, but oh well. Another trip when it’s hotter, I guess.
The CPAC dancers are reminded frequently to just keep dancing. Hair falls out of the bun, shoe comes off, whatever, just keep dancing. Insert witty/insightful comment about how I’m doing that too here.
p.s. I’m moderately interested in Mizzou potentially going to Big 10. I’m not interested in hourly updates on the alleged whispered conversations. Someone text me when it’s over.
Tripping Disneys
The kids & I took vacation last week, spending 4 nights on the Disney Wonder cruise ship, then joining Bill & Nancy at Disney World for the next 3 nights. Pictures of the whole thing are here. When thinking about planning the trip, I received excellent advice which I then ignored, which I now pass on as my own excellent advice. If thinking about this trip, just do the cruise, skip the Disney parks. If anything, just do a day at the Magic Kingdom and call it done. That’ll satisfy everyone’s need to say they went to Disney World, while also proving to yourself that just doing the cruise was the correct decision.
It wasn’t that Disney World was bad, at all, it was just that it was one of their busiest weeks of the year. So every line was longer, every bus was more crowded, every restaurant was booked. Contrast with no lines, no walking, and food literally anytime you wanted it on the cruise, again, an easy decision.
We went to St. Louis on Saturday night, then flew out of STL at 7:00 Sunday morning. We landed at 10:30 or so, then went directly to the ship. That worked out perfectly, as we were on the boat for about 3 hours before we departed, which meant a full day of swimming, seeing, etc., while most everyone else was staggering aboard.
After leaving, the ship stopped at Nassau, The Bahamas, and at Castaway Cay, Disney’s island, each for a day. In both cases we spent a couple of hours on the beach, the rest of the time on the boat. The kids both loved the beach at Nassau (actually went to Paradise Island) because of the waves crashing in. Was more stressful for me there, though, as waves crashing in sometimes meant Jack knocked off his feet rushing back out with the wave. Castaway Cay beach was fully protected by an (artificial) reef, so super calm waters. The highlight there was a Sting Ray swimming up to about 10 feet away from Jack & me.
The rest of our time on the boat was filled with movies (G-Force 3D, Alice In Wonderland 3D, and The Last Song), swimming, live entertainment (3 Disney-themed musical shows, each of which were very good), and eating. For those (many, many, many) wondering what The Last Song is, it’s Miley Cyrus’ latest film. It’s very much worth pointing out The Last Song isn’t in reference to a concert or anything, but more about her character’s songwriter father’s final song. Hey, Miley’s dad died, what an awesome movie! Ugh. Adelaide did get to see it before almost everyone in the world, since we watched it at 9:30 a.m. Eastern on it’s opening day, so there was that at least.
The cruise’s success might best be summed up by Jack, who said something like the following, about 23 hours after being on board. “You know, when we watch TV, we really should think about watching Disney. We always watch Nick. But we should watch Disney.” And that he fell asleep every night either before or during dinner. Mouse, mission accomplished.
On Thursday morning we ate an early breakfast on board, then headed to Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge to meet Nancy & Bill. It was a very nice hotel, indeed did see giraffes and other animals outside our room. Only complaint would be the inability to get into any restaurant there, which held true pretty much everywhere.
Thursday afternoon was spent at the Animal Kingdom, with the favorite rides being the Safari and the River Rapids. We ate dinner at EPCOT (fish & chips), then went to the Magic Kingdom on Friday. Favorites there were Splash Mountain, Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin, and the race car Speedway. Saturday we went to Hollywood Studios where Star Tours (Star Wars ride) and the Indiana Jones Stunt show were the best things we did. In all of them, though, we missed many rides simply because of the crowds and the wait times.
Sunday we had Easter breakfast with Bill & Nancy, then flew back. Arriving back to Columbia sooner than expected, we also were able to have Easter dinner with Mike & Sarah Messer and others. All in all, a great week, but a boring blog post.
Doesn’t fit anywhere else, but should also point out that Adelaide was bummed we didn’t have a porthole in our cabin on the ship. Our private veranda wasn’t impressive at all, as “you can have one of those anywhere, like a hotel.” So keep that in mind when booking.
The Mitten – by Adelaide E. Becking
The Mitten (pdf file, full version of what’s below)
Following is the full text, as written by Adelaide. (Anything in parentheses is me clarifying.)
- The Mitten
by Adelaide E. Becking - I dedicate this book to my Mom sarah Becking cass (cause) she was a vary spasher prsin (very special person) and she cunit fid thing alot (couldn’t find things a lot).
- One Winter night a girl named Sarah went out to the store and got hot chocolate. When she got home she notice
- her mitten was gone. She started thinking where she was. She was still in colorado. “I must have droped it on the way to the store.” “I’ll go back to look.”
- Pherr siad (Brr said) the cat. I wish I could find a cozzy plas (cozy place) for my lite fuzzy fur. I found a home! I found
- a home! I am going to shiv (?) in the mitten. This is a nice mitten I hope someone will come into my mitten
- Seconly a tiny frog was jumping along. He was very scared and cold he found a BIG dot. But when
- he got colser (closer) he notice it was a mitten! He said ribit ribit is enyone (anyone) home. “I, said the cat.” “Wud (would) you like to come in?” “Ribit yes”! So he wint in.
- Then a Dog came. It was playing in the snow. It was so cute he sail (saw) the mitten and whnt (went) to it.
- When it was going to the mitten it started to sink the Cat ran after the Dog. The Cat caught the Dog! And the Dog got out of the snow in gust (just) of time.
- Next a havy and harey (heavy and hairy) Bear was toping (hopping? loping?) along. And sail (saw) the mitten he ran affter it and leaped in
- it. None of them knew becaus they wher asep (were asleep). And he fal asep (fell asleep) to when he sail (saw) them. They wok up an our (hour) later. And they sail (saw) the Bear he whnt (went) out but the frog said hey dot (don’t) go we wuod (would) love for you to stahey (stay).
- Finally a big bad Moose with big antleers was going to the mitten he go in the mitten by pushing
- when he got comfortbole they shouted “get out intell (until) you say sorry!” So he said sorry and went in.
- Sarah went out to look for her mitten. Wien (when) she was out of site she sail (saw)
- the animais (animals) and said, “do you guys want to live with me.” And they all said yes!!!!
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
My name is Adelaide E. Becking
I am in the First Grade
I go to Grant School in Columbia, Missouri.
My teacher’s name is Mrs. Williams
I like to play with my doills (dolls) and rid my souder (ride my scooter). I also like to read and writ.
I hope you enjoy my book.
I published the store The Mitten on Jan. 2010
My Mom — by Adelaide E. Becking
Poem by Adelaide, First Grade
My Friend — by Adelaide E. Becking
Poem by Adelaide, First Grade
Grant News
Jack is now a registered kindergartner. Mostly, anyway. We went on Wednesday and turned in all the paperwork and took a tour of the school, given by a current 5th grader. Jack followed around everywhere, with his hands in his jeans pockets, not answering nor asking any questions. When it was time to go to school the next day he asked if he was going to CDC (pre-school) or kindergarten. When told CDC, he replied “Good, i forgot to tell everyone there I registered.” Then on the drive by Grant that morning he waved real big at his new principal. He’s proud to be going and clearly ready to go, I think
As for Adelaide, we met in her 1st Grade class this morning at 7:45, where they showed off their writings. She’s written a book, which I’ll try to scan and post here eventually, plus a couple of poems. They also had group research projects about various arctic animals. Here’s a link to Stella, Abby, and Adelaide’s recording of their project on Beluga Whales.
Starting Over
It seems most of the junk I’ve written here over the past many months has had one thing or another to do with either missing what used to be normal or what the new normal would be.
Unfortunately, I’ve realized normal is nothing more than exactly what I’ve made it over this period of time. Waiting has become the normal. Not being nearly productive enough around the house, not entertaining the kids enough, and generally being or acting miserable one way or another. I still don’t go to sleep easily nor sleep well, so stay up late to avoid the whole scene. I do nothing during that time, though, except waste time, and the cycle repeats the following days until I’m tired and grouchy(ier).
The kids are back to having a regular sitter on Thursday nights, which gives me some free time. My taking advantage of it has pretty much been limited to wasting time one way or another until a reasonable time to go home comes. I circle the car lots, the neighborhoods, or the neighborhood bars, generally in that order. The times when the kids are out of town I tend to either hit downtown (too hard), do nothing around the house, or both.
I still haven’t cooked a real meal and we don’t really have anything that we like to do together. Week days are a race till bedtime, weekends are a drag until bedtime, with way too much time filled by the television every day. It makes no sense, but I feel a bit like I’ve lost being a dad to the kids, now solely fill the mom role. Except I don’t fill that role at all so much as avoid it. Other people cook, clean, and do our laundry (** not that those are the “mom role”, just examples of my avoidance), I just get the kids up, dressed, and then back to bed.
We need to start over. Both the above stuff, and just me personally. While not likely, I’m momentarily acting like I’d consider any version of anything that starting over might mean. New house, new neighborhood, new job, new city, new state, whatever. All the reasons that I like Columbia aren’t worth much if we spend 90% of our time in our house or our backyard.
Kids should go outside and play, or go to the kids’ house down the street and play, but it doesn’t happen in our neighborhood, and likely won’t ever. I keep saying that in 3-4 more years that won’t matter much, but it matters now. My sanity, their happiness, and their habits would all be better with more kids around. Playdates don’t really happen that much for the dad & the kids. Maybe they don’t happen for anyone, I don’t know.
No matter how much we need to start over, though, I don’t want to. I don’t want to move (although I will consider beach-front offers). I have a better job than I deserve. I never intended to go out on another first date again, ever. Although I’ve tried that minimally, I seem to still have pretty limited interest in that (sorry to those minimally impacted). I know I have little interest in dealing with dating and the kids. And when I think about dating, I end up with the firm conviction that I only want to go on dates with someone that I know well that I don’t know at all. A convenient definition of a person that doesn’t exist.
Six paragraphs of saying I wish things would go back to the way they were before, I guess. I miss Sarah, I miss the partnership, and I miss the companionship. I’m not sure that I should ever not wish for that, but it seems like I should wish for that less frequently, at least. And I don’t want to start over on that part. It annoys me greatly, in fact.
Spring will help. Everywhere I go it seems people are tired of the weather, me included. Just a chance to get outside and do stuff will be great and is much much needed. We’ll start over that way, if nothing else. A work trip to Vegas, post-season basketball tournaments, and Spring Break in Florida should help as well. Hopefully writing it here will help as well — force me to break the bad habits that I’ve allowed to form, some of them at least.
Go hug your friends and family, and on a side note, screw ku.
Themeless
It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything, so here’s a bullet-point laden entry. Also known as the easy way out.
- We officially have reservations for Disney on Spring Break. Will be going on a Disney Cruise for a few days, then staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge for a few days of fun and Disney parkdom. I told the kids, probably mistakenly, that we might see animals while at the Animal Kingdom Lodge, so now they’re fully expecting to open the door of our room and see giraffes and zebras and bears, oh my. I have no idea what to expect of the cruise. I fully expect scars on my ankles from the strollers bashing into me at the parks.
- We went to the mall on Sunday to spend the kids’ Christmas gift cards. Jack chose a new “sleeping buddy” and a dinosaur book. Adelaide also selected a book, but then went with new sunglasses and some make up. And really really really wanted a new swimsuit. That one or that one or that one, please please please please. A threshold has been crossed, I think.
- Jack takes a sleeping buddy to pre-school every day. Today he took a skunk, but comforted the teacher that “it’s not a real one”.
- Adelaide is writing two books with friends at school, for fun it seems. She’s also supposedly written a poem about Sarah. I’ve yet to see or read any of this.
- Flying private beats every previous method of transportation known to man or beast, but probably not everything known to an Avatar.
- January and February seem particularly busy this year, I’m not sure what that’s all about. Last year I seem to remember being extremely slow, bored, and looking for things to do during these months. Both at home and at work, there seems to be more movement this year.
- The Tigers basketball home-court winning streak ended last night. Against all natural instincts, but at the request of my boss, I gave tickets to four of the best seats in the entire arena to some people from our facility in kansas. That sort of bad mojo simply can’t be overcome. (and all you ku fans who talked trash at me last night and today, safe to say you were doing so while wearing your Muck Fizzou shirt? and while writing a poem about how classy ku fans are?)
- I’m going to go to Vegas for a work trip in March. Or maybe I’m not. Or maybe I am. Or I’m not. I’m going to go to the Big 12 Tournament in KC right after that. Or maybe I’m not. Or maybe I am. Or I’m not.
- Columbia schools are out three days in February. A Monday and Friday of the same week, then the following Friday. Insert previous rants about intelligent design of school calendar here.
- I feel like I used to write funny stuff sometimes in this space, but haven’t written anything funny in a long time. Sad, as there’s simply little better than laughing at your own jokes. An awful trait, but I write funnier when I’m mad. A sign of progress, but really the only things that make me truly mad are work-related now. And since your work probably makes you mad too, and I like my job and workplace generally and have no interest in finding another one, funny work-related rantings will have to wait until my anonymous column pops up. Maybe under the name of Jane Doe? Or John Cocktoestun? Dr. Rosenrosen?
- Megan is now watching the kids (almost) every Thursday. So, I now have almost every Thursday evening free and mostly find myself just wanting to go home and relax.
- After previously bowing out of our dinner club, I charmed my way back in to the next meeting, which is Saturday night. I also charmed my way out of cooking for the dinner club, yet again, in exchange for bringing beverages (and not making them eat what I prepared). Anyone know of good Indian beer? Or of an Indian beer? And where to buy said beer in Mid-Mo?
- You can now have no more than 6 chickens in your backyard in Columbia, provided they’re in a nice chicken coop. Someone should tell my neighbors, who’ve had chickens in their backyard for a few years now. Yes, they stink sometimes, no matter what people that want to allow chickens in town might tell you. I have a feeling the chickens in the neighborhood would bother me considerably more if they were next door, rather than next to next door.
- Multiple conversations about improved communication count considerably less than if people would just actually talk more and otherwise do what they said they were going to do.
- I’d like to completely retool the way becking.com looks, learn to play guitar, take better pictures, sleep better, and go see more live music. I also watched every Grammy performance for the first time in years (ever?) and honestly enjoyed them all.
- screw ku.
Memorial Tree
Last fall the Child Development Center (the pre-school Adelaide & Jack have each attended) planted a memorial tree in honor of Sarah. In a cool coincidental tie in, the tree was purchased with proceeds from their annual school photo sales. They installed the plaque a month or so ago, but it’s been cold, snowy, dark, and cold and snowy, so was just able to take a photo today. The colorful Arbor in the background was built by Sarah a few years ago for their playground.
Also, for any that might not have seen yet, I asked Joey Los, a Missouri sculptor that sells her art at Bluestem Missouri Crafts, to make a floral piece for the top of Sarah’s memorial stone. She delivered that in mid-December and I was able to install it easily on one of the rare warm days. Photos of the floral sculpture are below. Those photos and more of the memorial stone can all be viewed here.
Christmas Cards
Not the paper kind, thoughtfully ordered from Mpix.com, which I’m seemingly not going to get done in 2009, but the those two kids are cards kind.
Adelaide, on December 24, after being told that “Be nice” was Grandma Cindy’s motto:
Hmm. Look Good. That’s my motto. My motto is Look Good.
Jack, around 10 p.m. on December 26, after being asked to go say goodbye to the last of the hundreds of family at Bill and Nancy’s house that day:
Why do I have to give hugs to everyone? They’re not even in our family!
Jack, around 10 a.m. on December 27, after being asked to go take a bubble bath.
Um, I don’t take baths or showers in the morning. At night time, not in the morning.