Jason's Untimely Thoughts

This Saturday the Tigers (of Missouri) take on the mighty RedHawks (formerly Redskins) from Miami (of Ohio).  Game time is at 1:00 p.m., we’ll be at the tailgate by 10:00.  Ribs from SE Missouri (of the land of cotton, old times there are not forgotten) have made the trip, if anyone is interested in bringing a side dish, am sure that will be eaten as well.

Beyond moving to 4-0 on the season, Saturday is also Adelaide (of Columbia)’s birthday.  She’ll be 8, and we’ll have birthday cake (of HyVee) and ice cream (of Central Dairy) at the tailgate for that.  This afternoon she and three friends are having a tie dye party, making shirts and whatnot.

I tried to look up some stuff about Miami (of Ohio) to make fun of, but quickly found out that I didn’t care too much.  Hey, they’re in Ohio! pretty much seems to be what you need to know.  The parenthetical will be the stuff of making fun this week.   They do have some Columbia connections.  Defensive coordinator is Carl Reese, a 1966 Mizzou grad and former Mizzou coach (1966, 1977-81).  And #64 Josh Harvey (of Hickman HS) is an offensive lineman for them.  And it’s been scientifically proven that anyone who wears #64 is a super genius funny guy.

They also make a big point of being the “Cradle of Coaches”.  Of course in that category they list their Synchronized Skating coaching connections as proof, among other things, so let’s not get carried away with those stories.

Go Tigers, happy birthday to AEB, see you at the tailgate.

Our beloved Tigers play once again this Saturday at 6:00, hosting the San Diego State University Aztecs.  We’ll be tailgating no later than 2:00 with various folks bringing various sides.  Mike & Sarah Messer are bringing the meat and the heat for the meat, buy your home through Flat Branch and insure your junk through Mike Messer Shelter Insurance.  Well, maybe your stuff isn’t junk.  Anyway.

San Diego State has a statistically outstanding offensive team, throwing for a bunch of yards, lots of passes down field, and a couple of good running backs.  Their coach is Brady Hoke, which is a miserable name.  Defensive coordinator is Rocky Long, a much better name, and formerly head coach at New Mexico.  Both have faced the Tigers previously so should be well versed in our offensive razzle dazzle.  Blah blah blah.

In a weird but fortuitous coincidence, though, “Aldon Smith” happens to be the Aztec phrase for “we will tackle your guys in the backfield and injure their spirit.”  Even stranger, “Carl Gettis” is evidently Aztec slang for “smallpox”, which wiped out their population like he will their down field passes.

With that kind of linguistic luck going for us, along with the actual small pox infested towels we’ll put in their locker room, victory is assured.  48-17 is my prediction.  See you at the tailgate in the land of the tall flagpoles.

As an aside, razzle dazzle makes me think of Stripes.  Which makes me laugh.  That’s the fact, Jack.  on a side note, screw ku.

Happy September, Tiger Fans!  Tomorrow the good guys hit Faurot Field to host the Cowboys from McNeese State.  McNeese is located in Lake Charles, Louisiana, where clearly nothing good originates  (sorry to friends from the Chuck, Sarah & I got engaged there, etc.).

As has become standard, we will be tailgating in Lot D again this year.  The first tailgate will again be catered by Hoss’s Market, food arriving by 3:30.   Food, beverage, and much of the tailgate crowd provided by Miller’s, Mpix.com for all your photo lab wants and desires.

Someone on the playground at school asked who we’re playing, “McNeazy State?”.  Of course someone at the playground was also dropping f-bombs while yelling at their kid, who evidently is named Toby Keith.  McNeese is a 1-AA school, but as our smelly neighbors to the west proved last weekend, you can’t take a 1-AA school too lightly.

The following links are provided purely for educational value, so all are reminded not to overlook a 1-AA school.  And in case you need to learn how to clap.

• College football writer, “Most depressing box score I’ve ever seen.“
• KC Star, “The Night The Wheat Stood Still“
• other team’s coach, “docile environment”, basically not very good
• go to Lawrence, learn to clap

Bedtime routine is for the kids to go to their shared room, they alternate nights picking out a movie, then both climb into Jack’s bed and watch the show.  Somewhere along the way I normally get invited to come upstairs and put covers on, take covers off, turn the fan on, turn the fan off, lay with Adelaide because Jack’s already asleep, lay with Jack because Adelaide’s already asleep, or turn the movie off because it’s over and neither is asleep.  Typically, it’s just one or two of those, sometimes it’s only the last because both are asleep.  It’s all progress, and is mostly all good.

I used to become easily annoyed at the kids’ bedtime habits, especially their unwillingness to go to bed without Sarah beside them, and her inability to say no to that every night.  While there are clearly nights when I’d prefer they’d go to sleep easier, it’s ridiculously difficult for me to imagine something less annoying than that scene now.

Tonight, “could you come lay with Jack, the movie’s over?”  Except it was still playing, Bedtime Stories, with Adam Sandler.  The credits were rolling, when I discovered that both kids knew every word to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’.  That’s weird, but kind of cool, I thought.  They thought it was equally weird that I knew all the words.  Anyone walking down the sidewalk outside at that moment almost certainly thought it was all weird as well.

After the song ends, I turn the DVD player off, both kids are asleep in about 30 seconds, I come back downstairs.  Decide to buy that song on itunes, thinking they might like it on road trips.  The search feature informs me they almost certainly know all the words to Don’t Stop Believin’ because of Glee.  Da da da da da da da da. Du du du du du du du du.  Da da da da da da da da.    While I know lots of people love that show, um, not nearly as cool that they know the words now.

Like many things written here, the theme also seems to apply to me, however.  Odd, I know.  Who’d think that I’d write something here that applies to me?  Shut up.

I’ve got a bit of a struggle going on personally, where I need to keep believing that it will all sort itself out.  Personal, social, professional, homal (my made up word to describe household, ending in al, to match the others)…. would just like some improvement.  I need to quit waiting on winning the lottery, especially since I don’t play the lottery, and step up and make it happen.  It’s an ongoing struggle, I’ve written about it before, but um, yeah, it’s ongoing.  Here’s to writing it again, in slightly different form, and picking up the pace once more.

on a side note, football!!!!   Tigers, 14-0.  beakers, slightly less than that.

Last year I wrote something here that I titled “July July July Sucks“, then went a month without writing anything.  This year, it seems I skipped writing a similarly sentimentally titled post, but made up for it by taking two months off from writing.

For obvious reasons, July sucks, still.  We had a great trip to Colorado surrounding the 4th of July, but there’s simply no ignoring the fact that the time period around the 4th brings back miserable memories for me.   Add in general discontentment with some things personal and professional and then the natural need to not spill all those details and thoughts in a public place, and I’m just not much in the writing spirit.  It’s too bad, really, because I’ve been plenty mad a few different times that some of it would have been quite entertaining reading, in a scorched earth sort of way.  Oh anonymous blog, when will your time come?

I don’t believe July sucked for the kids, which is good.  In addition to the time in Colorado, they spent a week in Malden where they swam, swam, and swam.  Adelaide then went to Chicago to visit the American Girl store and all other things Chicago in the early part of August.  Add in a Cardinals and Royals game each, plus spending a night at their cousins’ house, think they had a good end of summer run.  They are back in school now.  Jack has started kindergarten and is liking it very much thus far.  Probably his favorite thing at the moment is the fact that he has someone in class named Max (like our cat) and Jason (not our cat).  Just funny stuff.  Adelaide is in second grade and is glad to have two good friends in class this year.  Each start of school, though, especially with  kindergarten this year, is also painful.  It’s natural, but surprised me how much it hit me again this year.

With school comes (traffic) football, which will lift our spirits.  I’m scheduled to attend the first 7 games already, and 10 total, so I think we all know that means I’ll be going to 14 games again this year.   I’ve always really liked football, as countless relatives could no doubt attest, but I simply enjoy the escape the games provide me more now than I used to.   There’s little doubt that part of it is simply because Sarah & I never watched football games together anyway, so being there without her doesn’t seem weird.  And losses don’t bother me as much as they used to, which also seems weird.  That said, 14-0, Big 12 Championship, down with everyone.

Finally, I’m listening to my entire iTunes collection by song alphabetically.  Thus far, the clear winner for worst song in the collection is U Can’t Touch This.  Oh, Hammer.  Thus concludes the end of summer recap blog post.

As I did last year, used wonders of modern technology to ask a machine to paint a message on a road in France during a stage of the Tour de France.  Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong foundation and Nike team up to pull it off.

Below is a pic of the message, which was printed on July 19 for Stage 15 of the tour.  Here is a map of where the note was printed (according to GPS and google anyway).

SEMB Still Loved - JLB, AEB, JTB

Adelaide and I have twice gone to an appointment with a counselor, after the relatively recent story of her wanting to talk with someone.  I had no idea where to go, so called our pediatrician for a recommendation then went to that place.

It’s a “counseling agency providing therapy from a Christian perspective” which freaks me out for mostly known reasons.  Basically, some of that stuff is scarier than the unknown.  And leads to questions with answers of “God’s plan” which is not really how I want Adelaide to think of her mom’s death.  Just because I don’t have a better answer doesn’t mean I have to accept that one.  Generally speaking, I’d just like to be in control of how and where the kids are exposed to religion.

Although it makes sense, I’m also not in the room when Adelaide and the counselor talk (unless Adelaide wants me to be, which she did the first visit) and am not privy to what they discuss.  Throw that lack of control and knowledge with my paranoia and worry on the religious side of the therapy, Adelaide’s therapy is generally not therapeutic for me thus far.  Perhaps, to quote Flavor Flav, I “got problems of my own.”

After the two visits, Adelaide likes it a lot.  I’m not at all convinced, though, that she doesn’t enjoy it simply for some individual attention with an adult female.  Can I quote Flavor Flav again here?  Anyway, we’re headed out of town so the next two visits are cancelled, giving me a chance to figure out both how much Adelaide is getting out of it and where I stand on the thing.

While in their safely lit slightly comfortable waiting room, I also have the fun of completing page after page after page of forms.    After too many to count instance of names, dates, numbers, emergency contact numbers, important people in your life, what are those names again, any major medical issues, when did you last wet the bed, sorry, the names once again, the last two questions were:  “Describe an important family value” and “How would you describe the child as a person?”

Now “describe an important family value” is an open-ended nightmare, but being asked to describe the child you brought to therapy while also being nervous about what’s being said in both directions, and the lack of knowledge I’d have about that, is even worse.  I think she’s great and happy.  So either the therapist agrees and we all wonder why we’re here, or she doesn’t and my lack of insight to the kid shines back on me.  Stupid blanks.

In the end, I answered as follows.  Our important family value is “Be nice, courteous, and laugh.”  I should have added something about grammatical parallelism evidently.  And described Adelaide as “smart, funny, creative, polite, and generous.”  I’m happy with both of those answers, so therapy accomplished that, at least.

Sidenote, true story, not only do I have problems of my own, I also have a rip in my couch.

Adelaide, Jack, and Payton are each at Cougar Basketball Academy at Columbia College this week, which has been quite fun.  Every year I worked over there, I’d make a point to stop by and watch this camp, because it was so fun(ny).  Was especially easy the few years my office was in the gym.  Exceptionally funnier when you know the kids out there, though.  Watching Jack dribble around like crazy with his tongue sticking out made me smile bigger than anything in recent memory.  Similarly, watching Adelaide be hesitant, then completely get into it was great.  Or trying to catch up to Payton running around.  Good stuff.

Here are some pics.

This is the first week of summer vacation for the kids, which means the first week of sitter roulette at the house.  Our now long-time sitter has the kids two days each week, a new sitter has them another two days, with a grandma taking care of the final day.  Both kids are scheduled for Columbia College basketball camp next week, with soccer camp and vacation bible school coming later this summer.   We’ll also take a trip to Colorado over the 4^th of July – no real plans, just for fun.

Today is also Jack’s birthday, he’s now five.   So five years ago yesterday, about the time of this writing, I rushed home from work to pick up Sarah and speed to the hospital.  We got a slight police escort through downtown and rushed inside before things slowed down dramatically, a monster thunderstorm came through Columbia, and JTB was eventually delivered via c-section around 1:35 in the morning of June 9.

Adelaide whispering secrets to Jack

Also means, of course, that Sarah’s birthday and our anniversary have just passed, and that another memorable time of the year is coming right up.  Except for Jack’s birthday, none of the other dates are especially difficult or troubling for me.  I certainly wish Sarah was around whenever we’re celebrating something, but don’t necessarily miss her more or think of her more on the ‘bad’ days.  In all, it’s just a time of the year with a lot of memories.

At least yesterday, the same seems to be true for Adelaide.  Occasionally she’ll be upset, especially around bed time, with the only real verbal explanation that she misses mommy.  This happened extremely rarely early on, has become a bit more frequent over the last 6-8 months, but is still not a common thing.  Right or wrong, more than once I’ve at least partially chalked it up to avoiding bedtime.  Not saying she didn’t miss Sarah or wasn’t upset, but that it seemed to be at least as much about going to bed.

Last night was a little different, she was both very upset and more willing to talk to me about it than normal.  She said she was just thinking about mommy, “what she looked like and stuff”, and became upset.  After a little time and a little talking, said she was just thinking about “how nice she was and how fun she was”.  At which point of course I’m crying, even though Adelaide isn’t anymore.

In all, I think it’s healthy, although it hurts me to watch her go through it.  She’d spent some time weekly recently with the counselor at school, “talking about memories” so I think she might be missing that some too.  From the moment I told the kids about Sarah being gone, Adelaide has been very hesitant to talk to me about anything except happy memories, and wouldn’t let me see her upset for a long time.  As she fell asleep last night, she said she might like to find someone to talk with about memories and such, so I’ve scheduled an introductory appointment for that to happen.  No matter what, I think it’ll be good for her to have someone to talk freely with.

On a completely different topic, I had a great time on my trip to Dallas a few weeks ago.  If you ever think about going to the Byron Nelson golf tournament, you should.  Especially if you have a hook up like we ended up with.  Or appreciate sun dresses.  Or booze.  Same thing for a Jimmy Buffet concert, even if you’re a music snob (Sammy).  And if you’re a single male aged 35 or below, I’d recommend you go to one of those events, then just never leave Dallas.

Finally, I’m so sick of the PacBig1012141618 expansion “reporting”.  Someone text me when it’s over.  And I’m becoming a little obsessed with Dri Fit clothing.  If anyone has a closet full of golf shirts/t-shirts/shorts made of the deliciously wicking fabric, I’ll be happy to come take some off your hands.  On a PacBig1012141618 note, screw ku (although I sincerely wish that Mizzou, Nebraska, and ku would all go to the Big 10 should that really shake out).

Adelaide wrote her autobiography for her 1st grade class.  A pdf version is here.  Below is the full text, in case any is hard to read.

Cover:  Adelaide’s Autobiography
Dedication:  I dedicate this book to Stella Will my friend.  Because she is nice and she livs (lives) close to me.
About the Author:  My name is Adelaide Elizabeth Becking.  I am in first grade.  I go to Grant School in Columbia, Missouri.  My teacher’s name is Mrs. Williams.  I like to play with my American Girl dolls.  I wrote this book in March 2010.  I hope you enjoy my book!

1. Chapter 1 — When I Was A Baby
   On September 25 2002 a girl was born at Boone count-y Hospital the parents named me Adelaide Elizabeth Becking.
2. My hair color was brown.  My weight was 8 pounds and 4 oz.  I was 21″ long.  The time I was born was at 3:35.  I had blue eyes.  My first word was purple.  I said it like purlpe.  It was prulpe because my eyes were sometime purlpe.  I walk-
3. ed at the age of 1 or some-thing like that.  My favorite doll was papa.
4. Chapter 2 — About My Family
   In 2002 I was born.  3 years later in 2005 my Mom Sarah Becking gave birth to a boy name-
5. d Jack Thayer Becking.  He is my brother and he can be crazy but I love him.  My dad Jason Lee Becking makes pictures well prints some.  Jason loves Mu.  He loves Espn.  My Dad love to go to the Mizzou gams.  Woosh woosh watch out hera (here)
6. comes my mom.  My mom grow up skiing she was very good at it.  I never saw her do it.  She grow up in Denver, Colorado or something in Colorado.
7. Chapter 3 — My Friends
   So Chapter 3 is My Friends right.  If you said right it’s right.  I am going to tell abute (about) friends but cousin friends the
8. one I am going to talk abute now is Jacob.  He has a pool.  He likes it.  Ther is alute abute (there is a lot about) Jacob I am not going to tell all abute Jacob and that is all.  Callob (Caleb) wake up I am talking abute you now!!!!!!!  Callob and Jacob are brothers.  Callob is the igzat (exact) same
9. as Jacob but there difret (different) ages.  No Patin (now Payton) he has a little brother named Reid he has a little sisster named Litea (Lydia).  He
10. likes to wrestle. He likes video gams.  No Reed.  He is 3 years old.   He likes to be like his big brother.  He has a bike that he loves.
11. Chapter 4 — When I Grow Up
    When I grow up I will teach in Denver Colorado.  3D art.  I will go to Mizzou Colleg.
12. For a car I will have a Jeep that is black with peace signs of course.  Lets see hear I will go to Bruin Hig School.   I want to go to the sorority Kapp Kapp Gamma.  After I retire I will move to Glenwood Springs.
13. It will be fun.