Jason's Untimely Thoughts

It’s Christmas Card time… here’s ours.  I lost my mailing list, it seems, so you may or may not receive one.  They won’t be mailed until next week regardless, so you’ll be bored with my musings by then anyway.  Happy Christmas to all, and I sincerely hope 2012 for each of you is great.  Great enough that you choose to give me a bunch of money, in fact.

Here’s the text of the card:

Happy Christmas, Merry New Year and Joyful Holiday wishes from Adelaide, Jack, and Jason.  2011 has been good to all of us, with a bit of travel and a bunch of kids’ activities filling the time.  A theme from past Christmas cards too, it seems.

Adelaide is in third grade now and is remarkably close to being a grown up.  Dance remains her main activity, with swim team, golf, and tennis mixed in during the summer.  (Hello Country Club.)

Jack is in first grade and doing wonderfully.  He has lots of friends and is a great reader.  He’ll be starting basketball in January, baseball in the summer, and also took part in swim team and golf with his sister, along with soccer camp this summer.  Both are great, funny, sharp kids.

Jason took the often-advised step of quitting his job without something specific lined up.  And it turns out employment is over-rated by quite a bit.  Very much enjoyed getting the kids to the various events, picking them up from school each day, and generally being a more active parent.

A couple of new faces join us on the Christmas card, as Kim George and her son Brandon have come into our lives.  They’re fitting in well thus far, we’ll likely keep them around.  Bring on 2012, a.k.a. the Year of Paying Bills (and Mizzou victories, of course).

And here are the photos.  Please note, the design would look a lot better if Photoshop hadn’t quit working in the middle of me laying them out.  And if I was a better designer.

Happy weekend before Thanksgiving, Tiger fans.  On Saturday, the good guys will go for the sweep of Texas schools (Baylor doesn’t count), with kickoff against Texas Tech scheduled for 2:30 p.m.  It might rain, they say, which I say means the Tigers will rain points down upon the Red Raiders with great vengeance and furious anger.

Jessie Logan and Jim Yankee, of Flat Branch Home Loans, are providing the tailgate fare this week, via D. Rowe’s.  Pulled pork and smoked wings will be the main feast, food arriving around 11:30.  Also, please bring a healthy thirst for random leftover tailgate beer (and perhaps call a cab).  My fridgeth doth overflow.

It’s senior day, the last time these kids will play at Faurot Field, the last home game in the Big 6/7/8/12/12-2-1+1+1-1.  Go in early and give these guys a cheer.

on a side note, screw ku.

It’s homecoming week here (again) in Columbia, Mo.  The sudden chill in the air, the falling leaves, the brrrrrr cold rain is proof enough, but the highly ranked team from Oklahoma coming to town unsuspecting of the beatdown that awaits them is a sure sign.  Like Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner last year, Oklahoma State arrives from the land thief state this year.  Game time is 11:00 a.m., televised on FX (good luck finding that on your television dials).  When Gahn McGhaffie returns the opening kick for a TD again, may you all thank me simultaneously for this comparison.

Ok, it’s not really homecoming again, it just feels like it.  (What’s that, maybe I just can’t remember parts of last week?  Shut your mouth.)  We’ll be tailgating early again, bring a breakfast dish of your liking, should you desire.

Speaking of “it’s not really”, it’s not really the best team from Oklahoma coming to town, this is Oklahoma State.  They’re just coming to teach us how to Gundy.  Not content with being the second best team in Oklahoma (to OU), nor the (traditionally) second best OSU (to Ohio State), nor having the craziest coach (to Les Miles, their former coach), nor having the second craziest rich old alumni (ok, I give, I can’t think of anyone crazier than T. Boone Pickens), they’ve also gone all Oregon with the insane uniform combinations.  A wise man often told me (when Ok State came to town) that you can’t be proud walking around in orange pants.  It seems they 75% agree, as white, black, and grey are equally as likely Saturday.

Go Tigers.  Celebration of the second of the nine-game winning streak to finish the year (and the Big 12-2-1+1?) will be celebrated postgame.

Happy Homecoming Tiger fans,

100 years of Homecoming will be celebrated with pomp and circumstances of interest all over town this weekend.  The kids and I will be taking advantage of the first ever non-rainy homecoming to attend house decs Friday night, then the tailgate is on for Saturday prior to the 1 p.m. game against the Iowa State Cyclones. Join us at as many of those things as you like.

As has become recent tradition, Wingate Pest and Lawn Control is buying the food for the homecoming game.  Buckinghams will be bringing the spread.  If you’d like to contribute, any non-bbq or baked bean item would be acceptable.  I think I’m skipping the parade and will just be at the tailgate all morning, so stop by whenever you like.

No Mizzou football related email would be current without some level of grumbling over something or anonymous sourced SEC speculation.  That said, I recently overheard someone close to the University say that I (me, Jason) would like to punch about half the people grumbling and all of the people reporting anonymous sourced SEC speculation.  ISUck. I suck.

Call Wingate for all your pest and lawn control needs.  (Irony of having many pests and not that much growing grass at our tailgate spot duly noted.)  Go Tigers, Go Cardinals.  But not those Cardinals that had the misfortune of being caught in a tornado, screw those guys.  And the mythical shoe-wearing birds.

I’ve started going through Sarah’s digital photos, a task that’s kept me up late several nights this week.  Ultimately, many (more) of them will be going to our zenfolio site.   I’ve added a bunch of basketball photos there recently, but it’s really not anything much that wasn’t already on the basketball section of becking.com.  I’ll ultimately be putting a lot of Columbia College, other Mizzou sports, and some of the portraits and wedding stuff she took.

Anyway, while going through the basketball photos, I stumbled upon the fact that she’d taken photos of every Mizzou basketball head coach since 1967.  Of course it helps a lot that Norm coached for 32 years.  Here’s some of them:

Norm Stewart, Head Coach from 1967-1999, shown here when his #22 was being moved from Hearnes Center to Mizzou Arena

Quin Snyder and Brian Grawer, presenting game ball to Norm Stewart, after Mizzou beat KU.

Keyon Dooling and Quin Snyder

Coach Mike Anderson at his introductory press conference

Melvin Watkins as Interim Head Coach after Quin Snyder

Coach Melvin Watkins coaches his last game at Texas A&M, in a loss to Mizzou in the Big 12 Tournament

Coach Frank Haith (seated) and Coach Rick Barnes, coaching for Texas against Mizzou in 2004.

Thursday greetings, Tiger fans.  The good guys host the Leathernecks from Western Illinois on Saturday, kickoff is at 6:00 p.m.  The annual B-2 flyover will happen this game, sometime around 5:50, they say, so go in early or otherwise be prepared to shriek like a little girl when the thing flies over and surprises you.

Tailgate fare will include ribs from SE Missouri courtesy of Nancy & Bill and wings from Central Missouri courtesy of whichever restaurant I buy them from.  I’ll be at the spot by early afternoon, come join me when you will.

I’d make a bunch of time out jokes, but, then I’d have to punch myself in the face repeatedly.  And then put ice on my bruises.  And then make a bunch of “icing” jokes, which would make me stab myself in the eardrum.  It’s a vicious cycle.  It’s safe to say I don’t believe any time outs called or not played a factor in the outcome of the game, for any that are wondering.  And I’m sure you were all wondering.

The boys still have a chance to win the Big ?? conference, Go Tigers!  and on a side note, screw ku.

Greetings Tiger football fans,

It’s once again the happiest time of the year, with football season upon us.  Our beloved Tigers take on Miami on Saturday at 11:00 a.m.  For at least one more year, Lot D is our spot, so you can look for us in a strikingly similar location and setup as previous years.  I’ll be out there early, feel free to join whenever, any and all are welcome.  If you’d happen to like to bring a breakfast or brunch dish, I’m going to guess that it would be eaten.  As usual, if you’d like me to bring stuff to the tailgate for you, just drop it on the porch sometime Friday night and I’ll throw it in the truck.

As the excellent Dave Matter points out in the Columbia Tribune, Miami seems concerned about how we refer to them.  From their game notes, “When referring to Miami, please use either Miami, Miami University or Miami (Ohio). Please do not use Miami of Ohio or University of Miami, etc. The latter are not the proper names for our institution. Thank you.”

Mizzou evidently played the Miami last year as well, the fact that I have absolutely no memory of the 51-13 victory tells you almost how interested I am in this contest.  So I’m going with “Miami (no memory)” as my reference point and hoping that holds true again this year.  A 30-point beating is my hope, with new QB James Franklin’s dimples having their coming out party on national television.  And I miss beating the orange makes me ILL crowd every year for the first game, it turns out.

Since I have nothing funny to say about Miami (no memory), but need some material, I turn gratefully to K-State, always nice enough to provide fodder.  Commonly, you’ve got all you need just from their head of a mascot.  A few years ago, they provided the Power Towel gem.  Just today, the internets give us the K-State gift of EcoKat — the conservation and recycling centric mascot who is willing to sacrifice 3-4 bottles of Aqua Net just to make her hair enticing enough to attract recyclers yet dangerous enough to ward off Willie the Wildcat.  Bless their hearts.

Happy football, Go Tigers.

p.s.  I lost my “tailgaters” e-mail list when I left Miller’s.  And my paycheck, for that matter.  Anyway, some of you may have never received this stupidness before, some of you may wish you’d never have received it, and it’s possible I’ve left off someone that might need this information, should such a person exist. Whatevs.  Six times a year, every home game, laying out the tailgating plans (which will become a bit more important this year with the loss of the company sponsored tailgates).  on a side note, screw ku.

Tonight was meet the teacher night at good old Grant School.  Adelaide and Jack were both fired up about finding out their teacher, seeing which friends were in their class, choosing their desks, and so on.  It was pretty much all we talked about yesterday and today, before walking up the street at 4:30.

We had a pretty solid tip on which class Jack was going to be in.  I’d shared with Adelaide that he would be in the same class she’d had for first grade, but we decided to keep it a surprise for him.  He was going to be pleased with any of the three teachers, he agreed, but he was really hoping for Mrs. Williams.  (Almost certainly because that’s who Adelaide had, although she did a wonderful service to me of watching out for him in kindergarten.)

Adelaide had decided she didn’t care at all which of the teachers she had.  She liked them both and was going to be pleased either way.   She spent much more time wondering which of her friends would be where, and whether she’d be lucky enough to again have her bestest friend in the same class.  They had met just prior to kindergarten and had been in the same class every year.   Although she did let slip that she hoped she and bestest friend would be in the same class until they were 30, she finally decided that she had four really good friends and she’d be happy with any combination.

Sometime late this afternoon she told me she hoped that two (any two) of her friends were in her class, the other two were in the other class.  She said she didn’t think it would be fair if they were all in the same class together.  I’m not sure why, thinking back, but it struck me as a very selfless sentiment.  I was proud of her thinking it through and coming to a wish that involved sharing, even if it was only sharing to her.

So this afternoon, the plan was for Jack & I to go to his room, she could run ahead to the 3rd grade rooms to choose the desk she wanted.  We made a quick stop at the lists, lucky enough that our names tend to be at the top of the alphabetical sort, so the kids just saw who their teachers were.  Both were pleased and were off to their rooms.

I lingered just a bit to see if Adelaide’s luck was holding up with bestest friend, to discover they’d be separated for the first time.  Sad, but not terribly surprising.  A quick glance didn’t show me many more familiar names, but I had to run to catch up to Jack.  While Adelaide went on upstairs, I went to Jack’s classroom and helped him get settled.  Adelaide’s bestest was in their with her brother, who was going to sit next to Jack.  Another friend came along soon enough on the other side, and he was pleased pleased.

I started to pick up hints that Adelaide might not be as pleased in her class, so left Jack there and ran to look at the list again.  I went upstairs, worried about what state of mind she’d be in, to find her happily searching for the perfect desk location.  I helped her put away her things a bit, then asked if she’d looked at the class list.  We walked over there and I watched her crumble as she discovered that none of the four she’d hoped for were in her class.  The poor kid was heartbroken.

She spent the next hour trying to put away her things, trying not to talk to anyone (even her friends), and trying not to cry.  She was only successful at the first two of those things.  We talked a lot, her new teacher and her old teacher both talked to her, and she does have friends in the class.  In all, it will be an opportunity for her to expand, but that’s not a very fun explanation to try to give.

Her spirits have started to pick up, after dinner she was no longer saying she didn’t want to go to school anymore, and she seems to have accepted the situation — at least for tonight.  She’s still heartbroken, but was almost looking forward to going again by bedtime.  I still feel bad for the kid.  I try to not let the kids say “it’s not fair” as that simply doesn’t matter very often.  But damn it was hard for me to not walk to school later tonight (or early in the morning) and see if we couldn’t do something to make her a touch happier.  And on that point, it’s clear why they do Meet the Teacher night as late as possible before school starts.

Maybe the overarching point is that it doesn’t matter nearly as much where you sit or what you do, but that you do it with your friends.  But really the overarching point is that I just feel bad for her, wish I could do something to help, and hope she is happy with it by tomorrow morning.

** and she really does have friends in her class, just not the four she hangs out with the most.

Over the past few weeks I think I’ve become to have a little greater appreciation for the difficulties those in poverty can face when trying to climb out.  Hanging out at the country club pool every day for two hours allows you grand perspective, it seems.  Who knew?

I first really started thinking about it after a United Way meeting.  Results from a survey were presented, some of which indicated that cost of medical bills was thought to be a major factor among those facing poverty.  I’m sure it wasn’t actually the case, but I detected nothing but shock from those in the room.  Several comments were made about how surprising that was.  No one was disputing, but several were generally surprised.  Meanwhile I was likely slack-jawed at their surprise… I couldn’t believe you could be unaware of that anymore, at least that it was possible to be driven to poverty by medical bills and situations.

Self-employed guy has a major accident.  Big bills.  Can’t work for a bit, so then thinks he can’t afford insurance.  Takes a risk, starts down a slippery slope, something else pops up.  It can be as simple as that.  Or breast cancer survivor that then loses COBRA coverage.  Good luck purchasing that new coverage.

Similarly, at least a little, with the kids no longer in school it is freaking difficult to do anything.  Anything.  Since I’m watching my money while going to the country club pool every day for two hours, I’m hesitant to have a sitter (much).  Which means a simple “Can you come over this afternoon for a meeting?” becomes unsimple.  I never fully appreciated that when scheduling the bazillions of interviews I’ve scheduled over the past 10 years.   Certainly that part is doable, but it’s hard.

Speaking of hard, it’s nice out so I think I’ll go to the pool.

I’m going to go all Cee Lo here.  It’s not aimed at most of the employees that work(ed) in your joint.  Many were fine. Some were exceptional.  Some of the nurses especially. Some were likely good and I’ve unfairly judged them.

Three years ago I was living in your hospital.  I’d run across the street to buy new underwear, t-shirts, or shorts, because I could do that in 5-minutes rather than do laundry.  I ate every meal in the cafeteria or Subway across the street.  Many others in the family did as well.  The kids last saw their mom in that miserable general population room, struggling to breath, with everyone trying to figure out what to do next.

I have absolutely no doubts that the surgery part of the stay was a resounding success.  I know Sarah did everything she was asked to do beforehand, and to the best of her ability while she was awake post-surgery.  I have no real idea if any of the above played a part in the final outcome.  I know I’m still unbelievably pissed off and have exactly no more delusions that the outcome was right, just, or fair.

I drove about 3 hours the other day from Nogales to Phoenix, AZ…. All I did the entire drive was remember your hospital.  I didn’t mean to, it’s just how it was.

Don’t do any of that shit to anyone else.  None of it.  The resident is lucky I didn’t throw him out the window at the time. I can’t think of anyone whose opinion I less valued at that moment and they clearly needed all the help they could get. As is the jackass who told me they’d only had one person die.  I know it’s hard.  I know it’s work.  I appreciate that you’re certainly generally trying to do good.  Remember that the people in the waiting room know the patient much better than you’re ever going to.

Remember Sarah, and do good.