Jason's Untimely Thoughts

Over the past couple of days, whenever I think of Grandpa, for some reason I have two basic visions of him:
 
Grandpa of My Youth
Grandpa of My Kids
 
I don’t seem to have many other easy recollections of Grandpa and me as an adult, it’s just those two visions.  And of course a lot of those are shared with Grandma.
 
When I think of Grandpa of my youth, I remember a big, towering man.  Tan and strong from life on the farm.  Big forearms.  A tattoo.  Him not taking it easy on me when I was stuck in a game of dominos.  Him coming in for dinner to what seemed like the biggest glass of tea in the history of all glasses of tea.  Seeing them at church and being held in high regard there.  I think of Grandma always calling him “Beck” and me being so dense that I didn’t realize until years later that it was a nickname for Becking. 
 
And then I have lots of recent memories with our kids.  Maybe he didn’t pronounce Adelaide’s name right all the time, but he always tried to engage her.  Or played ball with Jack Thayer, the JT Becking of northern Missouri.  I remember both kids hanging out with him in the sun room, playing whatever games, and having fun.  I remember Grandma and Grandpa talking about their wedding reception once, or maybe a pre-wedding party, and that they had both soft drinks and hard drinks there.  And I was shocked, first because they had “hard drinks”.  But mostly because I never realized that’s where the term “soft drinks” came from.
 
Yesterday afternoon, as everyone came together at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, it just seemed like a day Grandpa would’ve enjoyed.  There was lots of food, lots of dessert, lots of kids playing.  There were something like 12 of their offspring playing horseshoes at one point or another.  There were people to harrass in every room and in both the front and back yards. 
 
Maybe it comes with age, but I’m less confident of what I “know” now than I used to be.  I do know that Grandpa would’ve enjoyed yesterday.  I also know that he’d have been outraged to learn I paid $3.89 for gas.  I know that he was proud of Jeannie, Judy, and Barry, and all the grandkids and great-grandkids.  And that he might have pointed out a few flaws in some of us yesterday, had he been able.  I know he was proud of his service in the US Navy.  And I’m pretty sure that he was maybe a little embarassed of whatever they made him do on that ship the first time it crossed the equator when he was onboard. 
 
I don’t know, at all, if now was the right time for me and the kids, and all of us, to lose Grandpa Becking.  But I’ve given up trying to figure out when the right time is.  I know people go out of their way to tell me how wonderful they think both Grandpa and Grandma Becking are, and I’ll remember that.  I know Grandpa would’ve enjoyed being with everyone yesterday, and I’ll remember that.  I know that I’ll never leave that house without looking over to see him waving at us as we pull away.

Edited to add photo of JT Becking that ran with his obituary, the obituary is listed as a comment here.

Every year, as part of Partners In Education, Grant Elementary students’ artwork is selected for the “Hall of Fame.”  About 20 pieces are displayed first in the gallery at Boone County National Bank (Grant’s Partner In Education).  After about a month, the artworks is moved to Grant where it will hang in various places around the building for years to come.  At the “unveiling” each student stands in front of their artwork and talks a bit about it.  All in all, a cool thing.  Below are a couple of photos of Adelaide and “Baton Twirler” and from the event.

Five years ago, many friends and family combined to contribute time and money to finish a flower garden or three that Sarah had started, as a surprise for her while she recovered from the surprise surgery / diagnosis (which was five years ago today).  As Spring also finally arrives around this time each year, I try to make sure it looks decent again.  It’s all in thanks for those that donated at the time, in honor of Sarah still, in order to allow me some time reflecting on everything, and an excuse to be outside during these nice days.  Below are a few pictures of that (imagine everything more fully bloomed, better manicured, and with some real grass growing).  Contrary to a few rumors, none of it is meant to make the house more presentable because we’re selling it (we’re not).

Weird Panorama

Finally, Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and grandmothers, but especially to all those in my life.  With the present making at school and the various plans everyone discusses, it’s a day/week that I worry about the kids quite a bit.  That worry is mostly pointless, as they continue to do well.  (But what better way to honor their mother than to worry about them.)

Here are a couple of items that might suprise you:

• I don’t really hate people just because they went to (or cheer for) ku.
• I do hate people yelling “M – I – Z” at me when I’m walking down the street.

On the ku thing, I like pretending to hate them.  Sometimes I actually do come close to hating individual players or teams of theirs.  It should be noted this was much easier when dadgum ole Roy was the coach.  I actually like Self, and until he won them a national championship*, I’m fairly confident I liked him better than most beaker fans did.

(*I also like pointing out that they claim 5 national championships, but only won 3.  Two were awarded years later by some random dude.   One of those some other random dude says Mizzou won.  So, give them credit for winning 3.  Yay them.  I further like pointing out that they went on probation for NCAA violations after each of those 3 they did win, so really, yay inconsequential NCAA violation policies.)

See, I don’t hate them.  I just hate the we’re so much better than you and have better morals too attitude that many of them go out of their way to crow about (free state nonsense, NCAA violations, MU fans were so mean to me/some random person I read about online, etc.).  Cheer for your team, I don’t care, just don’t claim to be morally superior and I’m fine.

Speaking of crows, there was a ku lady fan sitting near us at the Big 12 Tournament in KC.  We sat through three games on Thursday, she played Angry Birds on her iPad the entire time.  I’m not sure she was aware basketball games were being played.  The fourth game was Mizzou vs Texas Tech.  For this game, she played Angry Birds anytime Mizzou was ahead.  When Texas Tech scored to take the lead, her husband would nudge her, she’d put down Angry Birds, stand up and scream like crazy.  When Mizzou went back ahead, she went back to Angry Birds.  This story has no point, it was just entertaining (annoying) to watch.  (And in the interest of fairness, many Mizzou fans nearby were much more annoying than Angry Bird or any of the other nearby beaks.)

So, to sum, since none of that was overly clear.  I really don’t hate you if you went to ku or cheer for the mythical shoe-wearing birds.  Unless you act like an ass, in which case I probably do.  Similarly, though, if you’re constantly griping because Mizzou doesn’t have a fullback, or were mad because Brad Smith didn’t take enough snaps under center, I probably hate you too.

On M I Z, and then naturally also pertaining to Z O U, I love love love love the sound of that cheer in the fourth quarter of a football game, maybe with a little rain falling, cold enough that I can see my breath, when 70,000 are screaming the Tigers on to victory.  Transfer that to basketball environment, I’m equally in favor of it.  I’m not at all, however, in favor of it in small group settings.  I’m walking down the street, you’re on the other sidewalk, you yell “M I Z!”, I’m annoyed.  My historic reaction has just been to give you a little nod out of politeness, probably respond with a gentle “Go Tigers,” that’s it.  I’ve finally relented over the past few months, I now do respond “Z O U.”  I don’t really mean it, but I do it anyway.  No point in making sure random strangers think I’m an ass too, I figure.

Finally, my ranking of obnoxious fans, based solely on my travel to games.  The unquestionable leader, although tamed considerably after Mizzou started beating them handily, are CU football fans.  Outside of the stadium you could count on someone jumping in your face and yelling trash while you were walking through the parking lot.  Second, random ku female fans.  Most are great, but similarly it’s a safe bet that some college-aged female will start yelling hatred from across the street.  Third, a very close third, are Texans in trucks driving around Austin.  I really think the only reason I rank the Texans third is because I know none of them had likely ever even been to a game.

on a side note, screw ku.

Man it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here.  The other joint where I blog is not feeling much more love, perhaps today will be the day of writing.

Hmm, what’s gone one since my last prose?  Oh, I quit my job, so there’s that.  On our Christmas Card letter, I wrote that I was still gainfully employed at Miller’s Professional Imaging.  Over the past several months though, I simply wasn’t enjoying it as much.  So on Jan 13, I gave notice (accompanied by a cryptic tweet), and then drank heavily.  After consideration over the weekend, I was more certain that I’d made the right choice, even though I was not at all certain what I’d do next.

February 1 was my first day of unemployment.  And after 8 years at Miller’s, they closed both facilities that day.  The kids were out of school 7 of the next 15 week days, due to weather or calendar quirks, so we’ve spent a lot of time together.  I’ve had more than a few conversations about jobs, have found lots of people that seem genuinely interested in helping me find something, but thus far haven’t settled on anything (so send those openings/offers my way).

Several people have asked me if I regretted leaving.  No.  Not even a little.  I liked what I did and where I worked for the majority of the time I was there, but I didn’t anymore.  There are both general and specific reasons for it, some of which continue to be proven to me occasionally, and few of which could I reasonably expect to improve, so the time to move on was clear.

As for what I’ll do next, I’m exploring.  My job at Miller’s was difficult to explain.  Sometimes it was simply HR manager, sometimes it was much more, sometimes it was much less.  I commonly told people that my job was to drink Mt. Dew and tell jokes.  Since leaving, the best compliment I’ve received, undoubtedly, was a co-worker telling me they hadn’t laughed out loud since.  I want to work with people that are great, in a company that is growing, and be involved in a wide variety of conversations.  I’d like their mission statement to be something like “Be Nice.  Have Fun.  Laugh Daily.  Do Good.”  And I’d like them to fire people immediately that violate any of those four things.

The kids think I should become a football coach.  So they could get autographs of all the players.  Funny, as someone in the athletic department made a similar comment to me.  More funny, as I’ve long said that if I ever won the lottery I’d just hang out at football practice in the spring and fall.  (I originally wrote “…. I’ve long joked that….” but I’m really not joking.) Coach Pinkel, I’m available, just saying.  I can directly relate to every short fat slow guy you have on your team, which will conveniently give me lots of time to watch the games.

In addition to looking around, I’m also trying to explore some ideas of things I can do on my own.  We’ll see.  Part of my exploring will include a trip to Mexico, starting tomorrow, to drink fruity drinks and soak up the sun.  Ha ha, suckers.  See you in March, the month of Jason Becking finding a job/plan/someone who’ll let us live with them.

Our Christmas cards are going out in today’s mail, so look for yours soon.  Unless I don’t have your address or don’t like you.  Pics of the cards are below, can click to see larger versions.  The text follows as well.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours!

Happy Christmas, Merry New Year, and Holiday Joy from Adelaide, Jack, and Jason!  If you missed last year’s card from us, perhaps it is because we didn’t send any.  If you didn’t miss last year’s card from us, feel free to stop reading now, before the yearly recap.

Jack Thayer is 5 and now a school kid, going to kindergarten at Grant Elementary, which he likes very much.  His classmates are mostly boys, so he is able to find lots of willing participants in games, sports, and mischief.  He routinely gets all check marks on his weekly report sheet, with a “check-minus” for the allows others to finish their work category.  Seems he is a bit of a talker and joke-maker, a trend which has carried over from preschool.

Adelaide is now in second grade, in the land of (just a few) trailers at Grant.  She was glad to again have good friends in her class, but with only two classes in her grade, seems likely that will always be the case.  She is a creative, funny girl of strong opinions.

Both kids enjoyed basketball and soccer camps at Columbia College and we had a great trip to Colorado during the summer.  Our Spring Break trip to Disney (cruise & theme parks) will be long-remembered, as will numerous smaller trips to places near and far.  Adelaide is still dancing at CPAC (tap and jazz) while Jack is in favor of all sports, but not playing any organized sports yet.

Jason is still gainfully employed at Miller’s Professional Imaging / Mpix.com.  Feel the quality of this paper.  Look at the stunning prints.  Now go laugh at our competitors’ weak attempts (or not, really, a lot of those places do a fine job too, but come on, we have “Mizzou” billboards, and you can order at home in your underwear).  He again attended a ridiculous number of Mizzou events and helped host a growing number of fans at Mizzou tailgates.  And again enjoyed a lovely football season.

We’re lucky to have close friends and close family, both located nearby and in locations scattered around the country and the world.  Thank you for being part of that group, we hope 2011 is the best year yet.

Sadly, the final home game of the season is upon us yet again.  The Tigers host the Wildcats from k-state on Saturday, at 11:30.  Tailgate fare is again provided by Hoss’s Market, courtesy of Miller’s Professional Imaging.  Biscuits and gravy, egg casserole, pulled pork sandwiches, and so on will be served beginning by 9:30 a.m., I’ll be there well before that.  Not sure if the kids will be in attendance or not, should your decision be influenced by that in any way.

As appropriate for a visit by the grumpy old man coach in purple, I assume we’ll hear lots and lots of grumblings in our section from the old timers about how awful things have been recently.  They’ll also refer to how grumpy old man is a much better coach than our guy.  They won’t refer to grumpy’s 21-22 record over the past 3+ seasons, compared to our guy’s 37-11 mark in that time.   I assume they’ll also not refer to the fact that we’ll still win 10 games this year, before the bowl game, are going to celebrate the winningest senior class in Tiger history, and are generally in pretty good shape.  Better to be irrationally grumpy in mid-Missouri (pot, kettle, hi.)

They’ll have senior day festivities before the game, so go in early and cheer for these guys, all of whom are on track to graduate in May.  The third straight year, I think, that all seniors will have graduated.  Go Tigers!

Give ’em bruises, give ’em stitches, beat them Sooner sons a bitches.

The Tigers host Oklahoma tomorrow night at 7:00 p.m., as you might have heard.  Like Ron Burgundy, it’s kind of a big deal.   It’s also Homecoming, which traditionally means I make jokes about how it always rains at Homecoming.  There’s a reason I make those jokes.

The Homecoming Parade is at Noon, I’ll go to the tailgate from there.  Food this week is provided by Todd Bennington and Bryan Ninichuck (and Natalie and Val, I bet) of Wingate Pest Control and Lawn Maintenance fame.   Call Wingate for all your pesty lawn needs.   Chili, chili dogs, frito pies, and possibly other chili dishes will be the fare.  If interested in bringing anything else, a small side dish should cover any needs.   If you’re thinking about bringing any beer, don’t.  We have lots of beer.  Seriously, we have beer.

OU is favored, more highly ranked, and so on.  But it feels a lot like 2003 vs Nebraska to me.  Night game, rain, an opponent that’s not as good as they have been, and one that Mizzou owes a beating to, both because it’s simply been long enough and something necessary to take the next step.  OU is good, though, but it seems like Mizzou is too.  Should be a fun time.

p.s. I’m a little fired up about the game.

I hosted our 20th pledge class reunion a couple of weeks ago.  By “I hosted,” I mean I sent a couple of emails, then went to CJ’s on Friday night and our tailgate on Saturday.  It was quite a stretch.  Also had my 20th high school reunion semi-recently.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m older, the circumstances, or what, but in both cases reunioning seems to be more difficult for me than before.  A lot of years and experiences have passed for both parties of every conversation at those things, and generally I don’t like the chit chat.  I’d love to actually find out more in depth what’s going on with those old friends and acquaintances, but there seems to be a lot of menial chit chat required to break through into the depths.  Menial chit chat isn’t one of my strengths, I don’t think (maybe I should avoid describing it as menial?).

I don’t mean to imply it wasn’t great seeing everyone.  It absolutely was.  Some of each group (pledge class and high school) are great great friends, people that I respect and would do anything for.  It’s almost insulting, I feel, to pretend to catch up via “how’s work?” talk.  It would simply be more enjoyable to see the group in smaller numbers where we could actually talk.  Pretty much the same reason I enjoy the postgame tailgate better than the pregame tailgate most times.  That, and basking in victory.

Luckily, menial chit chat seems to be right up facebook’s alley.  And I think it’s time to admit I’m possibly falling in love with facebook.  I like being able to keep up on the goings on with friends, follow up with strangers, and develop relationships that simply wouldn’t have happened without it.  I like looking through other people’s old photos.  Why, no idea?  Other than it’s fun.  I even like its ability to prove (to me) that people I think are jackasses, are in fact jackasses.  I assume others like that in similar fashion towards me.  Especially if they knew I was looking at all their old photos.

All the above is more true because of my limited ability to have real conversations with adults.  Just doesn’t happen much for me, still, which is understandable and largely due to time constraints (and my chit chat issues).   And, irony of it all, after weekend of reunioning where chit chat can become something I avoid, the first (only?) thing I do when getting together with a group of great friends is trivial chit chat… making fun of each other, cracking jokes, and so on.

In other hypocrisy news, I’m thinking of buying a Mac for our next computer.  It’s completely possible that’s only because I really really really think I might want an iPad, but that seems utterly ridiculous and unnecessary, but we do need a new computer, so maybe I can rationalize my way to a Mac.  stupid Macs.

The blog for the Tribune is up and going.  Posts by me and others can be found here.  Seems like I should write another one, but writing about my love of facebook and stalking you through your old photographs didn’t seem like such a good idea for the family section.

Tigers, yay.

The beloved Tigers from Mizzou host the Colorado Buffaloes on their farewell tour this Saturday, kickoff is at 6:00 p.m.  I’m hosting a 20-year fraternity pledge class reunion at the tailgate, which is clearly both good and bad news.  Good news means food will again be provided by Hoss’s Market, there around 3:00 p.m.   I’ll be at the tailgate by Noon.  Bad news, well, we won’t get into that fully, but it’s safe to assume there will be ridiculous claims, tales of freakish adventure, and mildly inappropriate nicknames, and that’s just from the Preacher in the group.

The start of Big 12 play also means the bitterness is back in full swing, as you’ll soon notice.   The message of this week’s tailgate will be “Hey, shut up with your freaking 5th down stories already.  Yeah, I remember, thanks.  And yeah, it still makes me mad.  And yeah, he still hasn’t scored.  Yes, random fan in Boulder last year asking us if we still took that seriously, yes, we do.  Shut up.  We wuz robbed.  Seriously, shut up.  Or at least take down that national championship sign, either way.  Oh hey, look, the Tigers scored again.  Shut up.”

With the 5th down nonsense, 55-0 shall be the final score.   See you there at Noon.  Or 4.

Adelaide’s birthday party weekend went well.  She had a small party with three friends (and Jack) on Friday afternoon.  Although acting cool with that idea, evidently she had some concern that a small party would also mean minimal presents.  Fortunately, she also received gifts Saturday at the tailgate and then again Sunday at the separate party for family.  In all, she made out like a bandit.  A strange bandit, probably wearing pink, that really liked American Girl, but still, a bandit.  Pictures of it all are here.

One of her gifts was an iPod touch, which through the wonders of modern technology also allows her to send/receive e-mails and text messages (and evidently making phone calls too, soon).  A big hit.  I was a little worried that it would make her a zombie, watching videos and playing games all the time, but the texting aspect thus far has been educational.  She’s been going like crazy, relatively speaking, but needs help spelling the words, etc.  It’s been all good.  The texting is free (to us) but has a crazy number, so if you happen to get a random text from area code 515, it’s probably her.  I’m not giving out her email address wildly, but you’re probably able to guess it if you try hard.

In other news, I’ll be blogging semi-regularly on the Columbia Daily Tribune website starting soon.  They’re starting a section called “Family Life” and I’ll be filling the role of single dad.  It’s a classic case of not what you know, but who you know and what they can ask you to do for free.  With the minimal guidance I’ve received (read: slightly more than none), my early expectations are for it to be strikingly similar to some of what I’d typically post here.

I’ve felt rather odd about the whole thing, since being asked to do it, to the point of pretending like I might say no.  It’s one thing to post my random spewings here, where generally only people that know me might read.  It seems different to write for an official audience of some sort.  The Columbia Daily Tribune masthead is intimidating, don’t you know.

Also, I have a strange guilty sensation.  I know people that are paid by the Tribune to write.  By and large, they’re excellent writers.   I don’t want to pretend to be them, or have my virtual reputation enhanced by associating with them.  Or more importantly, I don’t want my real reputation to cause them difficulties.  Beyond all that, knowing the state of the newspaper industry, I wonder if they shouldn’t just give those guys a raise rather than investing any resources in showing me how to post a blog on their website?

I guess I can rest easy with the knowledge that it wasn’t that big of a deal, probably took 5 minutes total to show me, they’d likely be insulted with that trivial raise anyway.  But that doesn’t mean I’m staying in the hotels they make those guys stay in on football road trips.