Jason's Untimely Thoughts

Thursday greetings Tiger Fans,

Mizzou wraps up non-conference play on Saturday against the Arkansas State Red Wolves, a powerhouse from Joneslkjaszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh sorry, fell asleep from boredom thinking about the game. Kickoff is a 6:30 pm, if the game is not well in hand by 7:30, there will be grumblings everywhere.

I’ll be tailgating by 1:00 or so.  Come on out when you will.  Bryan and Val Ninichuck of Wingate Pest Control & Lawn Care fame are taking care of the bulk of the food this time, with Buckingham’s providing the stuff.  Sides or desserts or something still will be eaten, I’m sure.

Call Wingate for all your Pest Control and Lawn Care needs.  Like, say, you have a bunch of Red Wolves from Arkansas on your plastic grass.

Go Tigers.  

Holy Thursday, Tiger Fans.  It’s already Thursday, it seems, which means football!!! is almost here again.  Saturday the Tigers host the Rockets from Toledo University.  Kickoff is at 2:30 pm, tailgating will start mid-morning sometime, come out what you will.  We’ll have some food, but we have no idea what yet.  Bring what you will.

If you’re wondering what Rockets have to do with Toledo, it turns out the answer is “not much.”  From Toledo’s website, it seems Toledo played “then-powerful Carnegie Tech” in 1932, but had no nickname.  After a 32-12 loss, a Toledo student was asked by media members what to call his team.  “Skyrockets,” he said.

I think we all know that he really said, “huh?  what, I wasn’t listening.  Oh, whatever, dude, Skyrockets.  Clearly.  We just lost 32-12.”  He then took the sock out of his phonograph horn and put the latest Bessie Smith record back on at an inappropriate volume, later telling his chums how he pulled one over on a bunch of Carnegie Tech media elites.  And in later years he was all mad, saying, “um, I said Skyrockets, none of this ‘Rocket’ garbage!”

Anyway, football.  Tigers are 1-0, just needing to add a 4 to get to 14-0.  #math.  Toledo lost at Florida 24-6 last week, so will lose at Mizzou 48-12 in week two.  #moremath.  Go Tigers, go tailgate.

Happy football, Tiger fans!  On Saturday, the Racers from Murray State University take on our beloved Tigers.  Kickoff is scheduled for 6:00 pm.  It’s going to be cold, so you should bundle up.

Like locusts, Murray State returns to Faurot Field after a 7-year absence  Or maybe they’re like an itch.  That film featured Marilyn Monroe, though, so I guess we’ll go with locusts.  Although last time we played them I’d just had my gall bladder removed, and the site of incision still itches, so perhaps they are itchy.  Anyway.

As I told you seven years ago, you can impress your football neighbors by letting them know that Murray State’s all-time leading rusher is a gentleman named Don Clayton, from Malden, Missouri.  (Go Green Wave.)  Don was my high school football coach and had a brief stint with the Patriots before a knee injury ended his career.  This year one of Murray State’s best players is a receiver from St. Louis.  I assume he’s no good, though, because anyone who follows recruiting knows we always get every kid with talent from STL.

We’re in our same spot in Lot D.  I’ll be there early to set up, then back again by 1:00 or so, I’d imagine, so come out when you will.  My folks are bringing ribs, peaches, and watermelon from the Bootheel, so bring what you will to accompany that.  Napkins, for example.  (But seriously, please don’t bring napkins.)  Ribs, beer, and football, three things that are undeniably good for you.

2013, 14-0, Go Tigers, S-E-C, S-E-C, S-E-C!  and on a side note, screw ku.  

Happy end of the home football season, Tiger Fans.  By “happy”, of course, you know I mean Boo, BOO, BOOOOOO football season is almost over.  BOOOOOOOO.

On Saturday, our beloved Tigers take on the Orange from Syracuse University.  The winner of the game will be bowl eligible.  By the “winner”, of course, you know I mean Mizzou will be bowl eligible.  Other goings on  include black out day, Salute to the Military, and the U.S. Army Golden Knights parachuting in at halftime.  Crazy.

I’ll be at the tailgate earlier than you.  The Ninichucks are bringing Buckingham’s, the Messers are bringing chili, and we’re bringing hot dogs.  Call Wingate for all your pest control needs.  Call Mike for all your Shelter Insurance needs.  Call me if you happen to need 2 tickets to the game.  I’d guess food will be there around 3:00, bring what you will.  By “what you will”, of course, you know I mean please don’t bring any crazy amounts of beer or a cooler you plan on leaving on my front porch.  I have lots of beer that I’ll be bringing and I have lots of your coolers on my front porch.

Kickoff is set for 6:02, but you’ll want to go in there 20 minutes or so earlier  to recognize the 18 seniors playing their last home game.  Below are some notes from MUTigers.com on those guys.  Go Tigers, crush the Orange.

Holy it’s Thursday already, Tiger Fans,

As you all know, Homecoming week means cold, rain on Friday night, and beating as bad a football team as we can find (I’m looking at you, Oklahoma of 2010) to play.  In longstanding tradition, this year Homecoming will be against a team wearing blue whose fans don’t really even know football exists.  Kick off against UK is at 11:00, which means early tailgate time and breakfast galore.  Come when you will, bring what you will, win Tigers.

I know almost nothing about our opponent this week, which just makes it all the easier to pretend they’re from the west, wear red socks, celebrate their vagabond history, and have regularly been on probation for illegal basketball recruiting.  Go Tigers, and on a side note, screw UK.

Hello football fans,

Saturday, the Tigers get back to their winning ways when #1 Alabama comes to town.  Kick off is scheduled for 2:39, you’ll want to be in your seat on time as Gahn McGaffie runs back the opening kickoff, Oklahoma style, as Mizzou starts their upset.  We’ll be at the tailgate early, come when you will.  Jim and Jessie Yankee, of Flat Branch Home Loans and Easy PC, respectively  are taking care of the meat this tailgate, via D. Rowe’s.  Smoked wings, pulled pork, and brisket are on the menu.  Bring a side or dessert, if you like, and call Flat Branch for all your home loan needs and Easy PC for your IT issues.

At this point, we’ve all heard all we care to about the illustrious SEC and how cool they (we?) are.  Their dress, their attitude, their tailgating, etc.  In rebuttal, I present two pictures of Bama fans (courtesy of outkickthecoverage.com).

A Swag

Watch out for clashing houndstooth. Houndsteeth?

They’re not so cool.

Go Tigers, beat Bama.

Howdy football fans,

This weekend the Tigers take on the Commodores from Vanderbilt University.  Game time is at 6 p.m.  We’ll be tailgating again, naturally, in Lot D.  Lot D, for where the good things happen.  Not Lot G, where things happen that make me say damn.  Lot D – we’re for good times.  My folks are bringing ribs for the main fare.  Bring what you will.  I’ll be there early, I’m sure.

I haven’t looked at the schedule in a while, but know we have 3 consecutive home games.  After the win at Central Florida last week, I’m certain it’s all on track and we’re in for nothing but wins in October.

Go Tigers, beat the Dores, screw ku.

Late in the week greetings, Tiger Fans,

This week Mizzou hosts the Sun Devils from Arizona State University, kick off is at 6:00 pm.  We’ll be tailgating by 2:00, after another U10 girls soccer game at Noon (go Qatar).  Mexican is the fare this weekend, with the group combining to bring makings for tacos and burritos.  Really, it’s like Taco Bell, we’ll have the stuff there, you assemble it in any combination you like and call it what you will.

Arizona State beat the Tigers last year in overtime, so it’s REVENGE! again this week.  They fired their coach and hired some new guy that evidently believes in playing two quarterbacks and a locker room that smells like theirs in Arizona.  Seriously, I’ve seen more articles this week about him bringing special locker room air fresheners so his team is comfortable than I have about the game.  I haven’t read any of those articles though, because really, headline writers, trying to reel me in with some clever quip about locker room odors isn’t happening.  I’ve been in locker rooms.  They stink.  Like a mythical shoe-wearing bird stinks. Especially, maybe, one that had more Rice than it could handle and explodes might stink. (*Note:  Those birds don’t really eat Rice, because those birds are fake.  They don’t exist.  Secondly, I heard several versions of that joke this week, so I give credit to the interwebs.)

Go Tigers, Win.

Football season starts for real on Saturday, as the Tigers host the Georgia Bulldogs at 6:45 p.m. After attending the 10U Girls soccer game in the morning (go Qatar!) we’ll be at the tailgate around noon or so. Kyle George (Kim’s brother) is frying fish and ShutUpBulldogs (hush puppies). Others are bringing cole slaw, candied pecans, peach cobbler, little smokies, peanuts, pork, and grits. And other stuff, I’m sure. Bring what you will, as you like.

It’s extremely weird not to hate all the teams we’re playing this year. Except Southeast Louisiana of course, who has a Lion for a mascot? Seriously, stupid Lions. I’m sure the hatred will come for the SEC in time. For now, though, finally, revenge! for Georgia’s 14-0 victory over the Tigers in the 1960 Orange Bowl. REVENGE!

The only reasonably current things I really know about Georgia are two kids from Columbia played football there recently, Mizzou interviewed their head coach (Richt) but hired Coach Pinkel instead, I like their uniforms, and they’re in the SEC so there’s no way Mizzou’s tricky spread offense and tiny players on defense can possibly compete. And that their mascot bulldogs are all raised by a weird attorney family in Georgia. I assume some of their fans also walk fake dogs around the park and keep flies attached to strings (read this book if you haven’t).

Go Tigers, beat the Bulldogs, and screw ku.

Happy football season Tiger fans,

Despite my belief that Mizzou’s first game is next Saturday against Georgia, it does appear the boys will be playing a football game this weekend as well.  Kickoff against the Southeast Louisiana Lions is scheduled for 6:07 p.m.  Since you can no longer leave at halftime for a bathroom break or a beer, that :07 might be a critical period for some.

We’ll be tailgating early, can almost guarantee I’ll be there before you’d likely want to show up, so come on out whenever you like.  It might rain, it might not, but we’ll again be in glorious Lot D.  We should be in the same spot although the first game or two there’s always a bit of a feeling out process (meaning I have to feel out what time I have to arrive to beat the rest of the crowd so I can get the spot I like), so look around a bit if needed.  I’ve added another flag pole to the mix and will be flying a USA flag this year as well, because the SEC loves America.

Mike Messer’s meat will be on display during the latter parts of the tailgate…. what i mean to say is Mike is planning on smoking a bunch of pork, with a cajun dry rub recipe.  We are bringing red beans & rice and jambalaya, so feel free to bring a side dish or dessert of your choosing, if you like.  As always, if you’d like me to take anything to the tailgate for you, just have it at the house Friday night sometime.  And call Mike Messer for all your insurance needs.

In case you’re curious, here’s our path to #1 by the SEC Championship game, as predicted by me in an e-mail to a fellow prognosticator last week: